Sligo Presbyterian Church: Our Congregation and Community
In this blog, we'll focus on the working being done at Sligo Presbyterian Church, Sligo, Pennsylvania. We'll also look at what's happening in Sligo, Rimersburg, Clarion, and all the other communities served by our congregation.
During this season of Lent, we're moving through a sermon series entitled “Preparing for Easter.” In these five services, we're considering how we might get ourselves ready to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We’re focusing on the following:
During this season of Lent, we're moving through a sermon series entitled “Preparing for Easter.” In these five services, we're considering how we might get ourselves ready to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We’re focusing on the following:
Well, without a doubt, today we’re closer to Easter than we were last Sunday. And I’ll tell you, based on the weather report for the next seven days, with all the rain and the warmer temperatures, man, it shows that we’re sort of edging into spring. I mean, the showers come before the flowers, right? And remember, next Sunday morning, we officially enter Daylight Savings Time, and if that doesn’t make you feel as though the seasons are changing, I don’t know what will.
Of course, it also means that, this morning, we’re looking at another way we can prepare for Easter, you know, our celebration of the resurrection. Now remember, last week, we started by talking about fasting, you know, deciding to give up something that’s important to us as a way to move closer to God and to become more sensitive to the needs of others. And this morning, we’re going to move on to the second thing we can decide to do: namely to forgive those who’ve done us some kind of wrong. And I’ll tell you, for a lot of very good and sincere folks, fasting is a piece of cake, no pun intended, when compared to forgiving. I mean, let’s get real, forgiving someone who’s hurt us or someone we love, man, that’s tough, isn’t it? And that’s true even for Christians. As a matter of fact, it’s not hard to imagine situations where forgiveness would be virtually impossible. And even though we might understand that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning or even reconciling, just moving past a feeling of resentment or a desire for revenge, man, that’s not easy, at least it isn’t for me. And yet, as we’ll see in just a little bit, as followers of Jesus Christ, that’s exactly what we’re told to do.
And for that reason, this is going to be our focus today. In other words, along with fasting, you know, giving up something that’s important to us, we can also prepare for Easter by forgiving, in other words, giving up the anger and the bitterness and the hostility we might feel toward someone whom we’re absolutely convinced deserves it. And we’re going to do this by looking at what the Bible has to say about forgiveness. And then, we’re going to focus on four steps we might want to take if we’re serious about being a more forgiving person, at least, during this season of Lent. Now that’s the plan for the next ten minutes or so.
And you know, I think it just feels right to start this discussion by looking at scripture. I mean, what does the Bible say about forgiving others? Of course, if that’s the question, we really don’t need to look very far for an answer. For example, the idea that Christians should forgive others, well, that was pretty important for the Apostle Paul. I mean, just listen to what he wrote to the Colossians:
God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. [Colossians 3:12-14, CEV]
And then, to the Ephesians, he said,
Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. [Ephesians 4:31-32, CEV]
You see, I think it’s pretty clear that Paul thought Christians should be forgiving people. In fact, they should show the same kind of forgiveness to others that God has shown to them. Now I think you could call that pretty radical. But, of course, it wasn’t just Paul. I mean, just listen to what Jesus said during his Sermon on the Mount. You see, right after teaching his disciples a prayer which included the petition, “Forgive us for doing wrong, as we forgive others,” [Matthew 6:12, CEV], Jesus said this:
If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:14-15, CEV]
Now that’s what he said. And a little later, according to the Evangelist Matthew, this happened:
Peter came up to the Lord and asked, “How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is seven times enough?”
Jesus answered:
Not just 7 times, but 77 times! [Matthew 18:21-22, CEV]
Now let that sink in: Not just 7 times, but 77 times! [Matthew 18:21-22, CEV] You see, that’s just how important forgiving others was for Jesus.
And I’ll tell you, when you think about what both he and Paul were getting at, I think I’m safe in saying that the kind of forgiveness we see in the Bible has two pretty important characteristics. For example, on one hand, it’s certainly deliberate. It’s presented as an intentional choice rather than just a random feeling. It involves the will and not the heart. As a matter of fact, it’s grounded in God’s decision to forgive us, to cancel our debt and to look past our weaknesses. You see, the kind of forgiveness we’re expected to show has got to be deliberate. On the other hand, it’s also got to be unconditional. And I’ll tell you, that just makes sense, given that our forgiveness of others should be patterned on God’s forgiveness of us. You see, God didn’t forgive us because of us. God forgave us, you and me, because of God, because of his nature, because of his love. I mean, remember Paul told the Romans that “God showed how much he loved us by having Christ die for us, even though we were sinful.” [Romans 5:8, CEV] That’s unconditional forgiveness. And this is kind of forgiveness the Bible challenges us to show.
And you know, even though I recognize that actually doing this may be difficult, I believe there are four steps we can take, if we’re serious about being more forgiving. And let me share with you what they are.
You see, if we want the forgiveness we show others to be deliberate and unconditional, I believe it’s absolutely crucial that we, first, acknowledge the pain, and I’m talking about the pain that has caused us to feel angry and the bitter and hostile toward those who’ve either hurt us or hurt someone about whom we care. And I’ll tell you, expressing this kind of pain, well, it’s got deep roots in Scripture, particularly in the psalms. For example, just listen to want the Psalmist wrote:
Have pity, God Most High! My enemies chase me all day. Many of them are pursuing and attacking me, but even when I am afraid, I keep on trusting you. I praise your promises! I trust you and am not afraid. No one can harm me.
Enemies spend the whole day finding fault with me; all they think about is how to do me harm. They attack from ambush, watching my every step and hoping to kill me. [Psalm 56:1-6, CEV]
For the Psalmist, there was no need to sugar-coat it. Good night nurse, that’s what I call acknowledging the pain and the hurt.
And I’ll tell you, I think that’s something we need to do as well. Although we may try to pull an Elsa and just “Let it go,” if we don’t acknowledge what’s already there and if we don’t recognize that we were hurt really badly and if we don’t accept that this has effected both our thoughts and feelings, all the anger and all the bitterness and all the hostility gets shoved down. In other words, it doesn’t go away; it just gets compressed and covered up, ready to crop up in another place, at another time. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times: demons have power in the dark. But when they’re named and called into the light, that power fades. And I’ll tell you, that’s why I also believe that when someone hurts us, the pain needs to be acknowledged. And for me, that’s the first step in offering forgiveness.
And second, to forgive others, man, somewhere down the line, we’ve really got to make the decision to do it. I mean, dah. Nothing changes unless we decide to change. And you know, I think Jesus would agree. Just listen to what the Evangelist Luke wrote:
Jesus said:
Don’t judge others, and God won’t judge you. Don’t be hard on others, and God won’t be hard on you. Forgive others, and God will forgive you. If you give to others, you will be given a full amount in return. It will be packed down, shaken together, and spilling over into your lap. The way you treat others is the way you will be treated. [Luke 6:37-38, CEV]
You see, he commanded his disciples to “Forgive others, and God will forgive you.” [Luke 6:37b, CEV]
And I’ll tell you, that’s why I believe deciding is so important. You see, when you get right down to it, nothing gets done until we make the decision to do it. And that applies to doing laundry before I go out or cleaning the basement when I’d rather be doing anything else or writing a sermon after the birthday celebration or offering forgiveness to the very people who hurt me. And just like we said about fasting, talking about it and promising to do it, man, that ain’t worth a hill of beans until we make a deliberate and intentional decision to do it. And for me, that’s the second step in offering forgiveness.
And third, after the pain has been acknowledged and the decision made, I think it’s really important (brace yourselves) to pray for the offender, in other words, to pray for the very person who caused us the pain and the hurt, you know, the one about whom we might be feeling all kinds of anger and bitterness and hostility. I’m telling you, I think they need to be in our prayers, but not to call down a little fire and brimstone. Let’s just say, praying for them is really important. But don’t take my word for it. Just listen to what Jesus said,
But I tell you to love your enemies and pray for anyone who mistreats you. Then you will be acting like your Father in heaven. He makes the sun rise on both good and bad people. And he sends rain for the ones who do right and for the ones who do wrong. [Matthew 5:44-45, CEV]
You see, even though I may have acknowledged the pain and even though I may have decided to forgive, when I’m able to pray for the person who’s stirred up all the anger and bitterness and hostility I feel, now I’m recognizing that God is truly in control and that his love and forgiveness is unconditional and that, as a Christian, there’s something more important than my own feelings. In fact, I may be doing something that’s far more profound than just “turning it over to God.” You see, my thoughts and emotions have got to soften and our perspectives and attitudes have got to change when I take those who’ve done me wrong, when I take those who’ve hurt me deeply, when I take those who’ve earned my resentment and enmity and lift them up to God. I’m literally changed by the prayers I make, because I can’t hate those for whom I’m praying. And for me, that’s the third step in offering forgiveness.
And finally, after we’ve acknowledged the pain and decided to forgive and prayed for the offender, I think we really need to establish appropriate boundaries. Forgiving someone does not mean we must trust them immediately or remain in an abusive relationship or an unhealthy situation. We can forgive and still maintain a safe distance. And I think that’s the sort of thing the writer of the Proverbs was suggesting when he said this:
Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life. Never tell lies or be deceitful in what you say. Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside. Know where you are headed, and you will stay on solid ground. Don’t make a mistake by turning to the right or the left. [Proverbs 4:23-27, CEV]
Remember, forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, something that may be impossible. And forgiving doesn’t mean condoning, you know, surrendering our values and maybe even our faith to pacify someone who may very well be wrong. In fact, forgiving doesn’t mean reconciling, as though we’re somehow bound to have a good relationship with a person who may not have changed at all. I mean, if we do that kind of thing, we may be setting ourselves up for a life that’s both distorted and distracted: distorted by those words and actions we may never to be able to forget but constantly try to deny and distracted by some expectations and fears we may never to able to shake but try to cover with fake smiles and insincere words. You see, even though we may never be able to trust and we may never be able to endorse and we may never be able to befriend, we sure can forgive, for their sakes but maybe more importantly, for ours. Establishing some appropriate boundaries, I believe that’s the fourth step in offering forgiveness.
Now having said all that, I understand that forgiving others isn’t easy. As a matter of fact, it might be even more challenging than giving up chocolate or television or even collard greens. But since we know that holding on to hurt feelings results in anger and bitterness and hostility, maybe it’s worth the effort to forgive. I mean, since, according to the Bible, it really needs to be deliberate and unconditional, maybe we’d be smart to acknowledge the pain and to make the decision and to pray for the offender and to establish appropriate boundaries. And I’ll tell you, if we do this kind of thing for the next five weeks, I think we’ll be preparing for Easter by forgiving.
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