Sunday's Message: Good News for a Change - The Resurrection Can Change Our Relationships

We live in a world where there seems to be a lot of bad news. In fact, there are times when it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all those things that seem to tap our strength and drain our spirits. But as we move through Easter and remember the resurrection of Jesus Christ, there’s good news. And if we allow it, this good news can change us in some very profound ways.

For six weeks, we’ll focus on these changes during our worship service. In other words, we’ll talk about how the resurrection can change us in six ways. We’ll follow the following schedule:

• April 24 – The Resurrection Can Change Our Faith
• May 1 – The Resurrection Can Change Our Expectations 
• May 8 – The Resurrection Can Change Our Values 
• May 15 – The Resurrection Can Change Our Relationships 
• May 22 – The Resurrection Can Change Our Response 
• May 29 – The Resurrection Can Change Our Message 

During the fourth message, we considered how the resurrection of Jesus Christ can change our relationships. A copy and recording of this message is below:

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Let me ask you; is it just me or is time really passing fast? My gosh, we’ve already reached the mid-point in the month of May for crying out loud. And it seems as though all of a sudden, everything is blooming at once, including, of course, dandelions. And you know, I’m guessing the reason has something to do with the fact that, at least for me, this has been a rather damp Spring. As a matter of fact, it kind of makes that old riddle particularly true. If April showers bring May flowers, this of course begs the question, what do May flowers bring? Well, that’s easy: pilgrims. Thank you, I’ll be appearing here all week. Make sure you try the veal.

Anyway, we are dead center in the month of May which also means, this morning, we’re moving past the center point of the series we started on the Sunday after Easter, entitled Good News for a Change: How the Resurrection Can Change Us. You see, what we’ve done is take the four passages from the gospels that describe this single event, the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and we’ve looked at how it can change some different aspects of our lives. For example, as y’all remember, we started by looking at how the resurrection can change our faith, enabling us to focus on the one who has authority and who shows love. And then, the next week, we looked at how it can change our expectations as we look into the future, by challenging some, confirming others and clarifying them all. And then last week, we considered how the resurrection can change our values by encouraging us to incorporate a little more humility and a little more compassion and a little more simplicity into our lives. Now that’s what we’ve already covered. And as we talked about last week, we’re going to take these three values that are grounded in the empty tomb and we’re going to apply them to our next three topics, starting with how a little resurrection-based humility can change our relationships.

Of course, having said that, I think we all recognize that our relationships are always changing, sometimes for the good and sometimes, well, not so much. As a matter of fact, just this past week, I was forced to recognize that one of the most important relationships in my whole life has changed, and I’m not talking about my relationship with Coco Chanel. And in case you’re wondering, she’s not spoiled, but I digress. As most of y’all know, my daughter Maggie was up here from Morgantown for Mother’s Day. And since she was in town, it seemed like a good idea to get some of her Pennsylvania stuff taken care of. I mean, she needed a new driver’ licence and plates for her car and of course, an inspection. And since the DMV at the mall is closed on Monday, that’s what we did on Tuesday. And I’ll tell you, it was a very nice day, at least it was for me. I mean, we took care of all our business and I kind of stepped back and let her do the talking, something that’s really challenging for me to do. And between the driver’s license and the registration, we had lunch at Eat’n Park, and we talked about her job at WVU and her plans for the fall. And although this was certainly different from what would have happened about three years ago, I really didn’t realize that our relationship had changed all that much  until we were getting ready to head back to Sligo. You see, as we were about to leave Clarion, Maggie asked if I wanted to get some ice cream, no that’s wrong, some frozen custard at the Meadows. Of course, I said sure. And so we drove around to the drive-through. And as I was getting my money clip out of my pocket, Maggie said something to me I’d never heard her say before. She said, "Dad, I’ll get this.” Wow. An event worthy of a diary entry. Now, for me, that’s a relationship change for the better.

And like I said, that’s what we’re going to focus on this morning. I mean, remembering that the resurrection is really about God and I’m talking about God’s authority and his love, which also means it’s not about us and our abilities, intelligence or dashing good looks, it certainly should leave us humble. And I’ll tell you, when we value the kind of humility promoted in the story of the resurrection, I believe our relationships with one another will improve in three very profound ways and none of which involve frozen custard.

For example, if we allow the kind of humility reflected in the story of the resurrection to shape who we are, then I think we’ll simply ignore less and listen more, and I’m talking about in all their relationships. In other words, when we decide to value humility, we won’t just snub and diss those around us as though whatever they have to offer is just a lot of background noise. You see, that’s what arrogant people do; because when you get right down to it, no one can offer them any thought or idea worth knowing that they don’t already know. I mean, they’re the fountain of all wisdom, right? Therefore, it’s pretty much a waste of time for them to listen to anyone else, unless, that is, they’re confirming and complementing but never challenging or confronting. Now I think this is their attitude, and even though it may work for them in the short run, eventually it just won’t. In fact, it’s like the writer of the Proverbs said, 

If you stop learning,

you will forget

    what you already know. [Proverbs 19:27, CEV]

And of course,

It’s stupid and embarrassing

to give an answer

    before you listen. [Proverbs 18:13, CEV]

I guess that’s just the fate of those who choose to ignore others.

But to those of us who listen, to those of us who are willing to open ourselves up to what people are saying and who are willing to take the time and make the effort to learn from others, well, the situation is very different. Again, as it says in Proverbs,

Fools think they know

    what is best,

but a sensible person

    listens to advice. [Proverbs 12:15, CEV]

And as James wrote, “My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry.” [James 1:19, CEV] Now that’s what it says in the Bible. But I’ll tell you, to value listening, man, you don’t have to be a believer. Although I’m in no way a soccer fan,  Alex Ferguson, the manager of Manchester United said something that I think is really worth mentioning right here. He said, “There’s a reason that God gave us two ears, two eyes and one mouth. It’s so you can listen and watch twice as much as you talk. Best of all, listening costs you nothing.” You see, when we allow the resurrection of Jesus to humble us, I think we’ll ignore less and listen more. And that’s the first way our relationships can change. 

And second, right along with that, I believe that we’ll also assume less and understand more. In other words, we’ll be able to get past ourselves and what we think and what we believe and what we already accept to be true, so that we can entertain possibilities that we may never have considered before, and as result, we can grow. We can mature. Man, we can become the people God created us to be. But just like we said about ignoring, the act of assuming, man, that’s another one of those things that arrogant people tend to do really well. And again, considering their character, it makes sense. You see, since they assume that they know everything worth knowing, they certainly don’t need any additional information to make a decision. My gosh, doing something like that would just be a waste of time. And so, rather than spending any effort trying to understand, they can just assume that others feel and think and want the same thing that they do. And in that sense, they’re an awful lot like the kind of people we hear described, again, in the Proverbs:

Fools have no desire to learn,

instead they would rather

    give their own opinion. [Proverbs 18:2,CEV]

And sadly, they face the consequences of their foolishness. As it says,

When you see trouble coming,

    don’t be stupid

and walk right into it—

    be smart and hide. [Proverbs 22:3, CEV]

Their assumptions led them into stupidity. But of course, that’s not the case with those of us who can avoid letting our arrogant assumptions prevent us from learning and growing and understanding. You see, when we make the decision to really understand what our spouses and our children, what our friends and neighbors, what co-workers are feeling and thinking, I believe our response to them will be a whole lot more compassionate and sensitive. As a matter of fact, I think it’ll lead us away from the kind of false faith James wrote about, when he said,

My friends, what good is it to say you have faith, when you don't do anything to show you really do have faith? Can this kind of faith save you? If you know someone who doesn't have any clothes or food, you shouldn't just say, “I hope all goes well for you. I hope you will be warm and have plenty to eat.” What good is it to say this, unless you do something to help? Faith that doesn't lead us to do good deeds is all alone and dead! [James 2:14-17, CEV]

You see, by understanding and not just assuming, we’re putting ourselves in the shoes of the other guy. And we’re moving behind him so that we can see what he sees before we assume that we already know. We’re getting to know him as we’d like to be known ourselves. I’ll tell you, when we allow the resurrection of Jesus to humble us in this way, I think we’ll assume less and understand more. And that’s the second way our relationships can change. 

And third, if we allow the kind of humility reflected in the story of the resurrection to shape who we are, then I think we’ll simply exclude less and engage more, and I believe that’ll be true whether you’re talking about those who are closest to us as well as folks who might actually be more like strangers than friends. In other words, as we decide to listen to others and to grow in our understanding, we’re going to see opportunities for us to support one another and to work together and to coordinate our skills and abilities to accomplish something that’s greater than we’d be able to accomplish alone. Of course, this is probably not something that arrogant folk consider important. I mean, unless someone is able to help them in a tangible way, then other people, man, they’re expendable, and that includes even those who are closest to them. And there’s really no desire to support others without some reward and although there may be plenty of focus on obedience and loyalty and working for, there’s precious little focus on cooperation and coordination and working with. In fact, they become the poster boys for what the writer of the Proverbs had in mind when he said, 

It’s selfish and stupid

    to think only of yourself

and to sneer at people

    who have sense. [Proverbs 18:1, CEV]

Sadly, by their own choice, they are alone.

But that’s not the case with us, not when we choose to engage with others and become involved in their lives and allow them to become involved in ours. You see, if this is what we choose to do, then we’ll draw together for help and support, just like the writer of the letter to the Hebrews urged the people to do. 

Some people have given up the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord’s coming is getting closer. [Hebrews 10:25, CEV]

But you know, even more important than that, I think we’ll move closer to fulfilling Paul’s vision of the church, the one he laid out in Romans:

A body is made up of many parts, and each of them has its own use. That’s how it is with us. There are many of us, but we each are part of the body of Christ, as well as part of one another.

God has also given each of us different gifts to use. If we can prophesy, we should do it according to the amount of faith we have. If we can serve others, we should serve. If we can teach, we should teach. If we can encourage others, we should encourage them. If we can give, we should be generous. If we are leaders, we should do our best. If we are good to others, we should do it cheerfully. [Romans 12:4-8, CEV] 

I’m telling you, through us, God can do great things, when we allow the resurrection of Jesus to humble us. You see, then I think we’ll exclude less and engage more. And that’s the third way our relationships can change. 

As I found with my daughter last Tuesday, I think we’d all agree that relationships change over time, and they do it in ways that can be good but sometimes, not so much. But since the resurrection is actually a humbling story, if we claim some of this humility and allow it to shape our relationships, I think we’re going to see some exciting things happen. I mean, first, I believe we’re going to ignore less and listen more. And second, we’re going to assume less and understand more. And finally, we’re going to exclude less and engage more. Now, in my opinion, that’s how the resurrection can change our relationships. And next week, we’re going to consider how the compassion that resurrection teaches us to value, we’re going to consider how that compassion might change our response.