In this blog, we'll focus on the working being done at Sligo Presbyterian Church, Sligo, Pennsylvania. We'll also look at what's happening in Sligo, Rimersburg, Clarion, and all the other communities served by our congregation.
Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote,
Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV]
During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:
Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote,
Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV]
During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:
Well, this morning we’re entering a brand new month, which means almost ten percent of this year is already in the books. And it also means that right now, we have only 46 days before the beginning of Spring and 138 days before the beginning of Summer and of course, 326 days before Christmas. And since I saw on my phone this morning that they’re calling for temperatures in the 50s tomorrow, I think I’m safe in saying the worst of winter is clearly behind us, right? But be-that-as-it-may, it sure seems to me that 2025 is sort of flying by.
And I’ll tell you, so is our series on the Keys to Healthy Relationships. I mean, we’re already on the fifth message, which means we’ve talked about love and we’ve talked about honesty and we’ve talked about humility and last week, we talked about communication. And now, this morning, we’re going to focus on patience, something that we all do remarkably well, right? Of course, if we’re honest about it, I think we know that’s not really true. I mean, speaking for myself, I think I’m a lot like the guy who prays, “Lord, give me patience. And I want it right now.” I mean, let’s get real, it’s pretty hard to wait, even for patience.
And you know, I think we also see that in the Bible. For example, what person is usually held up as the poster boy for patience; Job, right? I mean, I’ve heard plenty of people talk about the patience of Job. But you know, it’s kind of interesting, when we read the book, well, Job isn’t as patient as we’d like him to be. I mean, he gets really frustrated by this suffering that he knows he doesn’t deserve. And that frustration causes him openly to question God and to whine about his situation and to argue with his friends who’ve come to offer their support. As a matter of fact, he even gets to the point where he says this to God:
I go to bed, hoping for rest,
but you torture me
with terrible dreams.
I’d rather choke to death
than live in this body.
Leave me alone and let me die;
my life has no meaning. [Job 7:13-16, CEV]
Now I don’t know about y’all, but this doesn’t sound all that patient to me. And so, maybe with Job, instead of having a patient example we can follow, we’ve got an impatient brother with whom we can identify.
And so, with that in mind, we’re going to spend a little bit of time thinking about patience. And as we’ve done before, we’re going to answer three questions. First, what does the Bible say about patience? And then, second, why is patience important for healthy relationships? And then, third, how might we become more patient? And don’t worry, I’m going to start right now so none of us will have to wait.
And I’ll tell you, I think that’s an excellent way to start, because, in my opinion, waiting is really what patience is all about. You see, it’s about waiting for your wife to get ready before you go to a party and it’s about waiting for your husband to do something about the toaster that hasn’t worked for weeks and it’s about waiting for the kids to stop messing with their phone and to start doing their homework and cleaning their room. You see, patience is about waiting, but that’s not all. It’s also about waiting without rolling your eyes or making a snide comment or laying down the law. In other words, I believe patience is actually about being loving and kind as we wait. And you know, I think that’s what the Apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote this to the Colossians:
God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. [Colossians 3:12-14, CEV]
You see, according to Paul, being patient is very similar to being gentle and kind, humble and meek. It involves putting up with each other even though there’s a part of us that wants to put them down and forgiving them in the same way Christ has forgiven us. I mean, when you get right down to it, it’s really about waiting with the kind of love that ties everything together. Now, I think that’s exactly what the Bible has to say about patience.
And as to why it’s important for healthy relationships, well, I think we can break its importance into three parts, with each part having its own focus. For example, I think patience is important for God. As a matter of fact, in a very real way, it’s actually a gift that we’ve been given. In other words, we’re able to wait with love and kindness and compassion, because, through his Spirit, God has given us the ability, and I’m talking about the ability to endure the challenges that we all have to face and to understand the flaws that other folks might have and to respond with kindness rather than anger when we end up being late to the party or when the toaster continues to gather dust or when TikTok is still obviously more important an unmade bed or a list of spelling words. You see, God actually gives us the ability to be patient, and I’ll tell you, that’s why I think Paul included patience among his Fruits of the Spirit. Just listen.
God’s Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. There is no law against behaving in any of these ways. And because we belong to Christ Jesus, we have killed our selfish feelings and desires. God’s Spirit has given us life, and so we should follow the Spirit. But don’t be conceited or make others jealous by claiming to be better than they are. [Galatians 5:22-26, CEV]
You see, first, our patience is important for God.
But you know, I think it should also be important for us as we live in relationship with others. You see, when we choose to be loving and kind regardless of the situation, I mean, when we choose to keep our irritation and disappointment and frustration in check and when we choose to still be positive and engaged and encouraging even though we might have every reason to be annoyed, aggregated and peeved, I think we’re doing exactly what God wants us to do and to be. And you know, I believe that may be the reason Paul offered patience as the very first characteristic of love. Just listen to what he wrote to the Corinthians:
Love is patient and kind,
never jealous, boastful,
proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish
or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth,
but not in evil.
Love is always supportive,
loyal, hopeful,
and trusting.
Love never fails! [1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, CEV]
I’ll tell you, second, I think patience should be really important for us.
But, as it relates to our relationships, I think patience can be absolutely crucial for others. You see, when I’m patient, I’m giving the people around me the opportunity to act, you know, to do what they know is right or to fulfill a commitment that they’ve made. I mean, think about the examples I gave just a little while ago. If, on one hand, a husband starts pointing at his watch as his wife finishes up her make-up or if a wife picks up a screwdriver to fix the toaster herself or if a parent starts nagging and yelling and threatening right away, then that woman and that man and those children no longer have the chance to do what they know is right on their own. But if, on the other hand, the encouragement is a little kinder and a little less harsh, not only might the job get done, the one doing it just might feel a little more satisfaction in having it done. And you know, I think showing this kind of patience lies behind these words of Jesus Christ:
If one of my followers sins against you, go and point out what was wrong. But do it in private, just between the two of you. If that person listens, you have won back a follower. But if that one refuses to listen, take along one or two others. The Scriptures teach that every complaint must be proven true by two or more witnesses. If the follower refuses to listen to them, report the matter to the church. Anyone who refuses to listen to the church must be treated like an unbeliever or a tax collector. [Matthew 18:15-17, CEV]
You see, not only is patience a big deal for God and for us, I think it’s also crucial for others with whom we have relationships. And for me, that’s why it’s important.
And so now we’re left with question number three: how? How can we be more patient with our spouses and children and in our congregation and community? In other words, how can we strengthen our relationships through our patience. And as I’ve said before, even though there are all kinds of excellent ideas and strategies out there, in my opinion, it all comes down to three decisions that we can make if we’re serious about being more patient. And let me briefly share with you what they are.
You see, first, we can decide to wait. I mean, we can decide that, in the face of some problem or difficulty, we’re not going to jump in with guns blazing as soon as we have the opportunity, although that might be the easiest and maybe the most satisfying thing to do. Instead, we’re going to take a half step back with our eyes wide open, just waiting to see if the situation improves or even resolves itself without our permission or help. It’s sort of like the American writer Arnold H. Glasow once said, “The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” And you know, I think that’s what James was getting at when he wrote this in his letter:
My friends, be patient until the Lord returns. Think of farmers who wait patiently for the autumn and spring rains to make their valuable crops grow. Be patient like those farmers and don’t give up. The Lord will soon be here! Don’t grumble about each other or you will be judged, and the judge is right outside the door. [James 5:7-9, CEV]
You see, if we’re serious about patience, we can decide to wait.
But that’s not all, because we can also decide to trust, and I’m talking about trusting both God and the other person. Of course, I understand that, when you’re talking about people, trust isn’t always easy. As a matter of fact, based on their history, it may be virtually impossible. Still, if we want to be in a healthy relationship with someone else, it may be worth the effort. I mean, without trust, how can we possibly wait with anything close to a positive attitude? And yet, if we decide to trust, if we decide to believe what we’ve been told and to accept that both their words and intentions are true and sincere, then we just might be able to feel genuine hope when things are progressing but also to give them the benefit of the doubt when they’re not. In a real way, it’s deciding to adopt the same kind of attitude toward our friends and family, our congregation and community that the writer of the Proverbs told us to have as we approach God:
With all your heart
you must trust the Lord
and not your own judgment.
Always let him lead you,
and he will clear the road
for you to follow.
Don’t ever think that you
are wise enough,
but respect the Lord
and stay away from evil.
This will make you healthy,
and you will feel strong. [Proverbs 3:5-8, CEV]
You see, along with waiting, we can also decide to trust.
And finally, if we want our relationships to be as healthy as they can be, we can also decide to live. In other words, while we’re waiting and trusting, we can get ourselves up and start doing what God has called us to do. And frankly, I think that’s really important for us to remember, because often when we’re patiently waiting and trusting, that’s really all we end up doing. But you know, doing nothing else, man, I don’t think that helps us at all, because the more we wait without seeing the results we want or expect, the more difficult it is to trust, much less to hope. You see, when we just sit there like a lump, our waiting and our trusting can actually undermine our patience. And for that reason, I think it’s important to get up and to start living, you know, doing the sort of things God has called us to do while we wait and trust. And let’s face it, nothing makes time pass faster than staying busy. And you know, maybe that’s what Paul was thinking when he wrote this to the Romans:
Be sincere in your love for others. Hate everything that is evil and hold tight to everything that is good. Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself. Never give up. Eagerly follow the Holy Spirit and serve the Lord. Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying. Take care of God’s needy people and welcome strangers into your home. [Romans 12:9-13, CEV]
If we want our patience to grow, we really need to decide that we’re going to live.
Now do you remember how we talked about Job just a little while ago, you know, how, even though we talk about how patient he was, based on his actions, he really didn’t seem patient at all? Well, in the end, God answers Job, sort of; therefore, his relationship with God was healed. But as to his friends with whom he argued, well, there’s really no indication that their relationship went back to the way it was. I guess a little bit of patience can go a long way.
Of course, we actually know a little more than Job. I mean, we know that patience is really about waiting with love and kindness and compassion. And we know that patience is important for God and for us and for those around us. And for that reason, right here and now, we can decide to wait and to trust and to live. You see, this we can do. And if we do, I think we’ll also discover that patience really is another key to healthy relationships.
Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote,
Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV]
During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:
On Friday, August 12, SPC had its annual Summer Day Camp entitled “Big Heart Farms: Where God’s Fruit Grows.” During the day, the children looked at Galatians 5:22-23 and talked about the Fruit of the Spirit. Building on this theme, during nine of our worship services, we’ll consider how we can integrate this fruit into our own lives. We’ll focus on the following qualities:
August 14 - Love
August 21 - Joy
August 28 - Peace
September 4 - Patience
September 11 - Kindness
September 18 - Generosity
September 25 - Faithfulness
October 2 - Gentleness
October 9 - Self-control
And so, as we move into the Fall, let’s talk about how we might cultivate the most important crop of all, the Fruit of the Spirit.
In our third service, we considered patience as a spiritual fruit. We also shared communion. A copy of the bulletin, a recording of this message and a video of the service is below:
On Friday, August 12, SPC had its annual Summer Day Camp entitled “Big Heart Farms: Where God’s Fruit Grows.” During the day, the children looked at Galatians 5:22-23 and talked about the Fruit of the Spirit. Building on this theme, during nine of our worship services, we’ll consider how we can integrate this fruit into our own lives. We’ll focus on the following qualities:
August 14 - Love
August 21 - Joy
August 28 - Peace
September 4 - Patience
September 11 - Kindness
September 18 - Generosity
September 25 - Faithfulness
October 2 - Gentleness
October 9 - Self-control
And so, as we move into the Fall, let’s talk about how we might cultivate the most important crop of all, the Fruit of the Spirit.
In this fourth message, we considered patience as a spiritual fruit. The sermon text and podcast is below:
*******
As I think most of y’all know, this morning we’re going to continue the series we started about three weeks ago entitled Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit: A Look at Galatians 5:22-23. It’s based on the theme of our Vacation Bible School, and it’s focused on this passage from Paul’s letter to the Galatians:
By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. [Galatians 5:22-23, NRSVUE]
And over the last few Sundays, we’ve looked at the first three spiritual fruits, starting with love, something we said was essential and active and Godly. And then we focused on joy and talked about how it’s given and empowering and contagious. And last week, we talked about peace and how it can change our perspective of God and others and ourselves. And remember, you can find both the sermons and the services on our Facebook page, YouTube channel and church blog. Now that's where we've been.
And this morning, we’re going to shift our focus to what Paul identified as the fourth Fruit of the Spirit, namely patience. And if, as I suggested last week, if peace is in short supply now-a-days, well, I think the same thing could be said about patience. I mean, let’s face it, we live in a pretty fast paced world, where most things need to be done yesterday. And even though we’re living a heck of a lot longer than we did one hundred years ago, waiting for what we want and expect, man, most of us just don’t have time for that kind of nonsense. If we want it, we want it now; that’s just the way it’s supposed to be, right? At least, that’s what every kid seems to believe, and that’s why they have no problem badgering mom and dad for that new iPhone 14 or chanting from the backseat on any trip that takes more than thirty minutes, “Are we there yet.” And that’s what every young adult seems to believe, and that’s why they assume they should bring in the same income their parents earn and they should enjoy the benefits of having a job with one company for twenty years. And if we’re honest with ourselves, every senior citizen, you know, folks like me, man, we believe it too. I mean, we may talk about how young people don’t know anything about delayed gratification, certainly not like us. But if traffic is backed up going west on 80 or if they’re having a hard time getting parts for our leased Honda after hitting a deer or if our daughter, let’s say at WVU, hasn’t gotten us the information on her new apartment soon enough, well, delayed gratification isn’t her problem, is it? Let’s just say that most of us tend to be a little bit like the rest of our world. And I believe that applies to Christians just like it does everyone else. I mean, although we may pray for patience, deep down I think most of us expect God to give it to us right now.
And since this would surely seem to be the way it is and since it’s also Paul’s fourth spiritual fruit, we’re going to talk about patience this morning. You see, we’re going to use some scripture to answer two questions: first, why is patience important and second, how might we develop it in our own lives. Now that’s the plan.
And like I just said, it all starts with that first question, why is patience important? In other words, why is this something that Paul considered important enough to put right up there with love and joy and peace? And why is it a quality that we might want to develop and to strengthen in our own lives? I mean, why is patience important for us, right here and right now? Now that’s the question.
And the answer, well, I think it comes down to four things that’ll happen the more patient we become. For example, first, I believe patience improves our decisions. And that just makes sense. I mean, if I’m in this big hurry and if I’m trying to get everything now, I’m probably not going to be doing a lot of thinking. And I’m probably not going to do much planning. In fact, I’m probably not going to take a lot of time evaluating my options; therefore, I’m probably going to rely on my guts rather than my brain. And I’m going to do it, even though I know, deep down, that’s probably going to result in less than sound judgement and less than rational decisions. It’s like that old saying, “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.” Or, as the writer of the Proverbs said,
It’s smart to be patient,
but it’s stupid
to lose your temper. [Proverbs 14:29, CEV]
You see, when we’re patient, I believe our decisions will improve. That’s one benefit.
And second, I believe patience strengthens our relationships. I mean, as everybody who’s been married knows, developing closeness and genuine intimacy, man, that takes time. And the willingness to take this time, that takes patience, doesn’t it? You see, whether you’re talking about two people or a community, strong and growing relationships just don’t happen. And I’ll tell you, I think that’s what the Apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote this to the Romans: “God is the one who makes us patient and cheerful. I pray that he will help you live at peace with each other, as you follow Christ.” [Romans 15:5, CEV] You see, I believe that, if we patiently take our time, our relationships improve. And that’s a second benefit.
And fourth, why is patience important for us, well, I believe it actually increases our compassion. Let’s face it, when we’re running with the rats and when we’re reacting and expecting and often resenting, showing compassion is probably not going to be high on our personal agenda. Loving one another as we’ve been loved by God, man, that’s not a bullet that we can check off when done. Compassion, real compassion, Christian compassion demands that we slow down so that we look and listen and feel. And I’ll tell you, I think Paul understood that, because this is what he wrote to the Ephesians: Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. [Ephesians 4:2, CEV] And in his first letter to the Corinthians, patience was the first word Paul used to describe love. He wrote,
Love is patient and kind,
never jealous, boastful,
proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish
or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
of wrongs that others do.
[1 Corinthians 13:4-5, CEV]
You see, I believe patience improves our decisions and strengthens our relationships. It broadens our vision and increases our compassion. And for me, that’s why it’s important.
But you know, understanding that, well, it really doesn’t mean very much if we don’t know the answer to the second question I mentioned a little while ago: how we might develop it in our own lives? You see, this is really where the rubber hits the road.
And the answer, well, I personally believe we can become more patient by intentionally doing four very simple yet profound things. For example, first, we can decide simply to pause, you know, to slow down and relax. Now having said that, I know that we all have a lot to do. And I know, we all expect certain things to happen. And I know there’s a part of us all that worries that, if it doesn’t happen now, it won’t happen at all. I understand that. But in spite of all these assumptions, we can still pause so that we can sort of declutter our minds and think with a little more clarity than we had before. In fact, when the hustle and bustle intrudes, we might want to remember what Peter wrote in his second letter:
Dear friends, don’t forget that for the Lord one day is the same as 1,000 years, and 1,000 years is the same as one day. The Lord isn’t slow about keeping his promises, as some people think he is. In fact, God is patient, because he wants everyone to turn from sin and no one to be lost. [2 Peter 3:8-9, CEV]
You see, to be patient, first, we really need to pause.
And second, we also need to trust, and I’m talking about putting our trust in God. You see, whether intentional or not, I think impatient people often put themselves at the center of their universe. It’s always up to them, and I’ll tell you, that probably explains why they often feel so much stress. But you know, when we decide to trust God, when we decide that we are loved by the Father and redeemed by the Son and inspired by the Spirit and when we decide that, when you get right down to it, it’s not about us, it’s about him, it always was and always is and always will be, then being patient, man, that’s a whole lot easier. It’s like James wrote, “My friends, be patient until the Lord returns. Think of farmers who wait patiently for the autumn and spring rains to make their valuable crops grow. Be patient like those farmers and don’t give up. The Lord will soon be here!” [James 5:7-8, CEV] You see, second, to be patient, we really need to trust.
And while we’re trusting, third, we might want to pray a little bit. And I’ll tell you why that’s important. Even though we may have paused and even though we may trust, without prayer, it’s still easy to feel alone. And believe me, I understand that feeling. I mean, this time last year, I was living alone for the first time in twenty years. My daughter was in Morgantown and my wife was in Weirton. And even though y’all were incredibly welcoming, there were times when I was lonely and a few times when, well, I wanted to go back home. But then Debbie would call and we’d talk. And I’d go back to Weirton on Sunday afternoon, and I’ll tell you, that made it a lot easier to be patient as I looked forward to the time when she’d be moving up here. And you know, for that same reason, I believe prayer is so important. And I think that’s why Paul gave this advice to the Romans: “Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.” [Romans 12:12, CEV] You see, I think prayer helps us be patient, and that’s the third thing we can do.
And finally, fourth, if we’re serious about how we might develop a little more patience in our own lives, I believe that we need to understand that, somewhere down the line, we’re going to have to act. I mean, the Christian life isn’t just about pausing, although that’s important. And it’s not just about trusting or praying, although those are important too. No, being a Christian is about taking action. It’s about loving God with our entire heart, soul, strength, and mind. And it’s about loving our neighbors as much as we love ourselves. And since this kind of love is active rather than emotional, obeying Jesus means we really need to do something. And it’s this understanding that actually gives our patience meaning. You see, when we pause and trust and pray, we’re actually preparing ourselves for action, because when we do that, our decisions will improve and our relationships will become stronger and our vision will broaden and our compassion will increase. It’s like the writer of the letter to the Hebrews said, “Then you would never be lazy. You would be following the example of those who had faith and were patient until God kept his promise to them.” [Hebrews 6:12, CEV] You see, when we recognize that it prepares us to act, I believe it’s a lot easier to be patient. And that’s the fourth thing we can do.
Now I don’t think our world is going to change; therefore, people will continue to face unreasonable demands and to have unrealistic expectations. In other words, I expect that folks will stay in the rat race, even though the rats are winning. But I’ll tell you, that doesn’t have to be the case with us. Instead we can decide that we really want to improve the decisions we make and strengthen the relationships we enjoy. And we want our vision to broaden and our compassion to increase. And for those reasons, we’re going to pause and trust; we’re going to pray and then act. You see, right here and now, we can claim Paul’s fourth Fruit of the Spirit and start to cultivate patience.
Below is a copy of Sunday's bulletin. Over nine weeks, our worship service will focus on a series based on our Vacation Bible School Day camp entitled "Cultivating the Fruit of the Spirit: A Look at Galatians 5:22-23." During this third service, we'll consider patience. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel at 10:00 a.m., Sunday morning.
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