Sunday's Message - Keys to Healthy Relationships: Unity

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV] 

During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:

• January 5 - Love
• January 12 - Honesty
• January 19 - Humility
• January 26 - Communication
• February 2 - Patience
• February 9 - Acceptance
• February 16 - Affection
• March 2 - Forgiveness
• March 9 - Unity

On Sunday, March 9, we looked at unity. Below is the podcast and text of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.

Well, this morning two things are happening. I mean, for one, we’re finishing up this series dealing with nine keys to healthy relationships. And during this time we’ve talked about love and honesty, humility and communication, patience and acceptance, affection and forgiveness. And today we’ll tie this up with unity. Now that’s one thing that’s happening.

But you know, this is also the first Sunday in a church season called Lent, a period of forty days leading up to Easter. And why is it 40, and not 30 or 50? Well, it’s because the image of 40 days is a pretty big deal in the Bible. For example, in the Old Testament, Moses went to mountains for 40 days to pray and to fast before he received the Ten Commandments. And the prophet Elijah did the same sort of thing right before the Lord spoke to him. And in the New Testament, right after his baptism, the Spirit drove Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted and tested by the Devil for 40 days. You see, whether you’re talking about Moses or Elijah or Jesus, it took 40 days to prepare them for something really big. And in that sense, we can use the 40 days of Lent to get ourselves ready for Easter. And I’ll tell you, no matter how you cut it, the celebration of the resurrection is one of those events that unites Christians all over the world.

And I’ll tell you something else, I think that kind of unity is pretty important, especially now-a-days, because I don’t see much in our world drawing us together. As a matter of fact, there seems to be a whole lot more pulling us apart. And without pointing fingers, because I only have ten and I don’t think ten would be enough, personally, I don’t see a lot of intentional unity happening anywhere in our modern world. And you know, personally, I think that’s a real shame, because instead of facing the very real problems we all have to face together, we seem to have decided to break into little teams or tribes made up only of people who think and feel like us. And I’ll tell you, I believe that’s a recipe for disaster. I mean, most of us are parents, right? Imagine trying to raise a good, solid, well-adjusted child when mom and dad aren’t on the same page about stuff like values or discipline or maybe most important of all, which football team to follow. I’ll tell you, you could very well end up with some Cleveland fans, or worse, a few Ravens at the family reunion. And nobody wants that, right?

And so, as we tie this series up, we’ll talk about unity this morning. And as we’ve done eight times before, we’ll approach it by answering three questions. First, what is unity according to the Bible? And second, why is unity important in relationships? And third, how can we strengthen our unity? Now that’s the plan.

And it starts with our first question: According to the Bible, what is unity? I mean, what would be a good, solid, Bible-based definition that might help us better understand this concept? I mean, that’s the question, right?

But you know, before we come up with a definition of what it is, I think it might be helpful to think about what it’s not. You see, according to scripture, unity isn’t uniformity. In other words, to be united doesn’t mean we should all be the same, you know, coming from the same background and holding the same opinions and of course, having the same skills. That’s not unity, certainly not the kind about which the Apostle Paul wrote when he said this to the Corinthians:

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but they all come from the same Spirit. There are different ways to serve the same Lord, and we can each do different things. Yet the same God works in all of us and helps us in everything we do.

The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others. [1 Corinthians 12:4-7, CEV]

You see, at best, a community or a congregation or a family of clones is going to be really limited in what it’s going to be able to do. But at worst, well, this kind of uniformity can lead to groups doing some horrendous things because, let’s face it, when everybody thinks the same way and wants the same things, there won’t be anyone to say “no.” And that can be a problem.

But fortunately, as Christians, we’re not called to walk in lockstep; you see, that’s not unity. Instead, according to the Bible, unity is about oneness, not uniformity. It’s about diverse people living in harmony, not identical folks fighting to exclude men and women they don’t think belong. It’s about a kind of active love that draws people in, not a kind of static sameness that pushes folks out. I mean according to the Bible, unity is based on and grounded in something far deeper and more profound than backgrounds and opinions and skills. You see, as Christian brother and sisters, we’ve been united by God himself, and I’m talking about the Father who loved us before he laid the foundation of the universe and the Son who calls us to get up and follow and the Holy Spirit who, right here and now, inspires us to become everything were created to be. I’ll tell you, it’s like what Paul wrote right at the end of his second letter to the Corinthians:

Goodbye, my friends. Do better and pay attention to what I have said. Try to get along and live peacefully with each other.

Now I pray that God, who gives love and peace, will be with you. Give each other a warm greeting. All God's people send their greetings.

I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ will bless you and be kind to you! May God bless you with his love, and may the Holy Spirit join all your hearts together. [2 Corinthians 13:11-13, CEV]

You see, the fact that we have one another, man, that’s a gift from God, something that we can claim as we live together. And for me, that’s what Biblical unity is all about.

And as to why it’s important; I mean, why is unity important in our relationships, well, I think there are three solid reasons.

I mean, first, I believe unity reflects God’s nature. And I’ll tell you, I think this is something that may set Christianity apart from some other religions, you know, like Judaism and Islam. You see, while a Jew or a Moslem might view the one God in a very uniform way, for Christians, well, it’s different. You see, for us, within God’s oneness, we trust in this unity between the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit: three distinct persons united in essence and substance and nature as one God. As a matter of fact, in a very real way, God is unity, and as such he offers us a model that we can claim and follow. And you know, I think that’s exactly what Jesus was getting at when, right before his arrest and crucifixion, he prayed this to his Father:

Holy Father, I am no longer in the world. I am coming to you, but my followers are still in the world. So keep them safe by the power of the name you have given me. Then they will be one with each other, just as you and I are one. While I was with them, I kept them safe by the power you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost, except the one who had to be lost. This happened so that what the Scriptures say would come true.

I am on my way to you. But I say these things while I am still in the world, so my followers will have the same complete joy that I do. [John 17:11-13, CEV]

You see, for me, unity should be important for us because it reflects God’s nature.

And second, I also believe it offers us strength, and I’m talking about more strength that we could ever find on our own. It’s like what the writer of Ecclesiastes said,

You are better having a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble. If you sleep alone, you won't have anyone to keep you warm on a cold night. Someone might be able to beat up one of you, but not both of you. As the saying goes, “A rope made from three strands of cord is hard to break.” [Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, CEV]

Simply put, there really is strength in numbers. And when we’re united, they can better support and better encourage and better challenge one another. It’s like Paul wrote to the Philippians:

Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God's Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. Now make me completely happy! Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. Care about them as much as you care about yourselves and think the same way that Christ Jesus thought: [Philippians 2:1-5, CEV]

You see, unity can offer us all kinds of strength, and for me, that’s another reason it’s important.

And third, unity empowers our witness, and I’m talking about our witness to “the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit.” [1 Corinthians 13:13, NRSVUE] You see, in my opinion, a united church, one in which everybody is using their distinct gifts with a common focus, man, that kind of body can be a powerful testimony to the truth of the Gospel. And I think that’s especially true when we’re focused on love and honesty, on humility and communication, on patience and acceptance, on affection and forgiveness. You see, by claiming this unity we have from the Holy Spirit, we’ll be able to what Peter wrote about in his first letter:

Can anyone really harm you for being eager to do good deeds? Even if you have to suffer for doing good things, God will bless you. So stop being afraid and don't worry about what people might do. Honor Christ and let him be the Lord of your life.

Always be ready to give an answer when someone asks you about your hope. Give a kind and respectful answer and keep your conscience clear. This way you will make people ashamed for saying bad things about your good conduct as a follower of Christ. [1 Peter 3:13-16, CEV]

You see, not only does it reflect God’s nature and offer us strength, unity can empower our witness. And for me, that’s why it’s important.

Which leaves us with how, how can we strengthen our unity? In other words, within our communities and congregations, within our families and friendships, how might we demonstrate a kind of oneness and harmony and love that can reflect God’s nature and can offer us strength and can empower our witness? How can we become more united? Now that’s a good question. And with that in mind, let me briefly share with you a four-part answer that I think we can find in something Paul wrote to Ephesians. You see, this is what he said:

As a prisoner of the Lord, I beg you to live in a way that is worthy of the people God has chosen to be his own. Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Try your best to let God's Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace. All of you are part of the same body. There is only one Spirit of God, just as you were given one hope when you were chosen to be God's people. [Ephesians 4:1-4, CEV]

Now that’s what Paul wrote. And in this brief passage, I think there are four steps we can follow if we really want to be more united.

For example, we can choose to be humble. Now, I believe that’s the first step. And remember, that was the first thing Paul told the Ephesians, “always to be humble.” And as we’ve talked about before, humility really involves putting the needs of others above your own. I mean, as I’ve said a couple of times, it’s not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. You see, humility demands that we recognize that we’re just not better than others. We’re all human. And we’re all sinners. For the sake of unity, according to Paul, we can be humble. That’s the first step. 

And second, we can also be gentle. And I say that’s step number two because I’m not sure we can be gentle without being humble first. You see, when we’re willing to recognize our humanity, our limitations, our sin, that’s when we become able to appreciate just how gentle God has been to us and to be willing to pass some of that gentleness on to others, and that includes folks with whom we may have all kinds of disagreements. To strengthen our unity with others, according to Paul, we can be gentle. That’s the second step.

And third, after choosing to be humble and then gentle, I also think we’ve got to be patient. Now, I recognize that we probably don’t like hearing it, but the bottom line is simply this: believers are called to put up with one another and to do it with patience. Of course, that’s really not what the world believes and promotes now-a-days. As a matter of fact, we’re almost encouraged simply to dismiss folks who are annoying or too opinionated. But for Christians who appreciate just how gentle God has treated us and who have decided to pass some of that gentleness on to others, well, we’re expected to do what James wrote about when he told us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” [James 1:19b, CEV] For Paul, the third step to unity is patience.

And finally, step number four, of course, we need to be loving. Now in the past, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about love, you know, how the kind of love that both Jesus and Paul talked about wasn’t really a feeling; it was an action. And when underpinned by humility and gentleness and patience, love is all about treating others with kindness and respect. And remember, when Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” [Mark 12:31b, CEV] he didn’t end the command with a “when” or an “if.” Instead, he ended it with a period; which leaves out the possibility of exceptions. In other words, we’re called to love others whether we like them or not. And for Paul, I think that’s crucial, because without this kind of love, unity is just plain impossible. And that’s why I believe it’s Paul’s fourth step.

And now we’re done with this sermon series. Of course, hearing all this stuff ain’t worth a bucket of spit, unless we choose to do something about it. And so, as we move through this season of Lent and prepare ourselves to celebrate Easter, let’s be intentional in our love and honesty, in our humility and communication, in our patience and acceptance, and in our affection and forgiveness. And let’s do this in an atmosphere of unity, because when you get right down to it, that’s also one of the keys to healthy relationships.

Sunday's Message - Keys to Healthy Relationships: Forgiveness

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV] 

During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:

• January 5 - Love
• January 12 - Honesty
• January 19 - Humility
• January 26 - Communication
• February 2 - Patience
• February 9 - Acceptance
• February 16 - Affection
• March 2 - Forgiveness
• March 9 - Unity

On Sunday, March 2, we looked at affection. Below is the podcast and text of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.

You know, when you think about it, there’s a lot of new going on around here this morning. I mean, not only are we entering a new month, thanks to a power surge that fried some of our equipment, we’ve got a new computer in the office, and we’ll be getting a new printer, which is covered by our insurance, PTL. And as you can see, we have new microphones which means that I don’t have to detach my lapel mic and violate your personal space when you either have an announcement to make or a prayer request to share. And so, there’s a lot of newness happening at SPC.

But of course, not everything is new. In fact, this morning we’re nearing the end of a sermon series we started back in mid-January entitled Keys to Healthy Relationships. And during seven services, we’ve looked at love and honesty, humility and communication, patience and acceptance. And last week, we focused on affection, you know, the emotion of love, as another one of those keys. And this morning, we’ll look at key number eight, forgiveness. And so, if you’re talking about our general theme, well, that’s certainly not new.

And I’ll tell you, neither is something that will be crucially important around the Rudiger house in the next few days, and right now I’m talking about Debbie’s birthday, something we’re celebrating on Wednesday. I think this is the twenty-seventh time I’ve attended that rodeo. And trust me, “forgiveness” is definitely not something I want to associate with March 5th and beyond. I mean, doing something that needs to be forgiven on your wife’s birthday, well, that’s the gift that keeps on giving, but not in a good way. Let’s just say it can put a lot of stress on a relationship.

But of course, if you’re talking about problems associated with forgiving, well, I don’t think that applies to just marriages. You see, personally, I think some of the relationship problems we see in the world now-a-days come from our inability or reluctance to forgive others. Let’s just say, that “live and let live” attitude doesn’t seem all that popular in our world today. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t seem to matter whether you’re talking about families or friendships, communities or congregations, folks seem to be a whole less like Elsa in Frozen who could just “Let it go” and a whole more determined to hold on to hurts and disappointments and even look for opportunities to even the score. I’ll tell you, often it seems we spend more time and effort looking for how we might get revenge and retaliation and retribution than looking for reasons to offer forgiveness and mercy and kindness. And so I guess we really shouldn’t be surprised that many of our relationships have sort of gotten caught in the crossfire.

And I’ll tell you, for that reason, we’ll be looking at forgiveness this morning. And as we’ve done before, we’ll approach it by answering three questions. First, according to the Bible, what is forgiveness? And then, second, why is forgiveness important for relationships? And then, third, how can we actually do it? You know, how can we become more forgiving? 

Now, that’s the plan, and we’re starting with the question: What is forgiveness according to the Bible? In other words, what does scripture have to say about offering mercy and showing kindness to someone who may have done us wrong? And I’ll tell you, even though there are all kinds of verses throughout the Bible about forgiveness, there’s a parable found in the Gospel of Matthew that I think sums it up pretty well. Now this was what happened:

Peter came up to the Lord and asked, “How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is seven times enough?”

Jesus answered:

Not just 7 times, but 77 times! This story will show you what the kingdom of heaven is like:

One day a king decided to call in his officials and ask them to give an account of what they owed him. As he was doing this, one official was brought in who owed him 50,000,000 silver coins. But he didn't have any money to pay what he owed. The king ordered him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all he owned, in order to pay the debt.

The official got down on his knees and began begging, “Have pity on me, and I will pay you every cent I owe!” The king felt sorry for him and let him go free. He even told the official that he did not have to pay back the money.

But as this official was leaving, he happened to meet another official, who owed him 100 silver coins. So he grabbed the man by the throat. He started choking him and said, “Pay me what you owe!”

The man got down on his knees and began begging, “Have pity on me, and I will pay you back.” But the first official refused to have pity. Instead, he went and had the other official put in jail until he could pay what he owed.

When some other officials found out what had happened, they felt sorry for the man who had been put in jail. Then they told the king what had happened. The king called the first official back in and said, “You're an evil man! When you begged for mercy, I said you did not have to pay back a cent. Don't you think you should show pity to someone else, as I did to you?” The king was so angry that he ordered the official to be tortured until he could pay back everything he owed. That is how my Father in heaven will treat you, if you don't forgive each of my followers with all your heart. [Matthew 18:21-35, CEV]

Now that’s what Jesus said. And I think I’m safe in saying that, based on this parable, forgiveness is simply showing to others what God has shown to us. Of course, as the story indicates, it doesn’t just happen. Instead, the kind of forgiveness that Jesus had in mind comes from a heart-felt recognition and appreciation of what we’ve received. But it’s also grounded in a very real and intentional decision to be kind and to be merciful and to show pity to others. You see, as I read Scripture, that seems to be what forgiveness is all about. Now, that’s the what.

And as to the why, you know, why is forgiveness important for relationships, well, I’ll tell you, I think it comes down to three things that forgiveness does for us and for those around us. 

For example, first, I believe forgiveness brings us closer to God. In other words, the act of showing mercy and kindness and pity to someone who may have hurt or disappointed or frustrated us in some way, well, I think it strengthens our relationship with the one who’s already forgiven us for so very much. And I’ll tell you something else it does with respect to God; I believe that recognition and appreciation sort of motivates us to pass it forward to others. You know, it’s like Jesus told his disciples during the Sermon on the Mount:

If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you don't forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:14-15, CEV]

You see, I think forgiveness brings us closer to God. And that’s one thing it does.

But that’s not all, because I believe it also frees us from bitterness. Have you ever heard that old saying, “Revenge is a dish best served cold”? Well, let me ask you, how many miles would you need to carry around that pain and that resentment and that frustration until the initial white-hot desire for vengeance becomes cold enough to serve? And while you’re carrying around that resentment and frustration, how do you think it’s affecting your attitude and your outlook to say nothing of your stomach and your blood pressure? You see, our willingness to forgive as we’ve been forgiven actually frees us from this burden, something that I believe the Apostle Paul understood when he wrote this to the Ephesians:

Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. [Ephesians 4:31-32, CEV]

I’ll tell you, forgiveness really enables us to pull an Elsa and to let the bitterness go. And that’s the second thing it does for us and those around us.

And third, I believe it also becomes a way for us to demonstrate love, and right now, I’m really not talking about the emotion but the action. In other words, it becomes another one of those tangible signs of our decision to be loving, even to folks whom we may not like very much. In fact, deciding to forgive is part and parcel of deciding to love. And remember, of all the things the Bible tells us to do, according to Jesus Christ, it can be summed up in a single commandment, to love one another as we’ve been loved. And you know, I think that’s probably what the Apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote this to the Colossians:

God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. [Colossians 3:12-14, CEV]

And so, along with bringing us closer to God and freeing us from the bitterness we often end up carrying around, forgiveness can be a tangible demonstration of love. And I’ll tell you, for me, that’s why it’s important.

Which leaves us with how, how can we become more forgiving? How can we push back and push aside the desire for revenge and retaliation and retribution? And how can we offer more mercy and kindness and pity to those around us, particularly those who’ve hurt us in some way? How can we do it? Now, that’s a really good question. And even though I think there’s a whole bunch of really good answers floating around out there, let me briefly share with you three things we might want to consider if we’re serious about being more forgiving. 

I mean, for one, we can focus more of our attention on God and in particular, on what he’s done and does and will continue to do for us, his  children. You see, as it relates to forgiveness, I think it’s a whole lot easier for me to forgive my spouse or my friends, a member of our congregation or community after I’ve spent a little time just thinking about the forgiveness God has already shown to me. t least, I believe that’s what John thought, because just listen to what he wrote in this first letter:

If we say we share in life with God and keep on living in the dark, we are lying and are not living by the truth. But if we live in the light, as God does, we share in life with each other. And the blood of his Son Jesus washes all our sins away. If we say we have not sinned, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth isn't in our hearts. But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away. [1 John 1:6-9, CEV]

You see, to become more forgiving, we may need to focus more of our attention on God. That’s one.

And two, we can also decide to take action, you know, to just do it. I mean, much like the kind of love commanded by Jesus Christ, forgiveness is an act of the will, not of the heart. Therefore, if we want to be more merciful, if we want to be more kind, if we want to show more empathy and pity, we may need to lace up our Nikes and just do it. Of course, this may not be easy. I mean, we’re talking about forgiving when seeking revenge and retribution and retaliation may seem more appropriate and certainly be more socially acceptable. I mean, we live in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth kind of world, for crying out loud, even though we know, deep down, that’s just going to leave the world blind and toothless. And you know, that’s why deciding to be more forgiving just may involve following the Apostle Paul’s advice to the Romans:

Dear friends, don't try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says,

“I am the one to take revenge

    and pay them back.”

The Scriptures also say,

“If your enemies are hungry,

    give them something to eat.

And if they are thirsty,

give them something

    to drink.

This will be the same

as piling burning coals

    on their heads.”

Don't let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good. [Romans 12:19-21, CEV]

And so, to amp up our forgiveness, we must decide to take action. And that’s two.

And finally, three, I think forgiveness is a whole lot easier when we set some appropriate boundaries. Let me explain what I mean. Sometimes I think we confuse forgiving with forgetting. And even though I believe the first is a matter of the will, the other isn’t. In other words, we can decide to forgive; but I’m not sure we can decide to forget; therefore, the past hurts and the past disappointments and the past frustrations may still be hanging around despite our best efforts to forget about them. And for that reason, I think it may be important to set some boundaries to prevent our memories from interfering with what Christ has called us to do. For example, even though I may be expected to forgive someone for betraying my trust, I’m not called to put myself in the position to have my trust betrayed again. It’s like Anthony Weldon wrote, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” That’s what I mean by boundaries. Now to me that just makes sense, but I also think it’s grounded in scripture. For example, I believe this idea of drawing a line between what’s appropriate and helpful and what’s not is reflected in some advice Paul offered the Corinthians when he wrote this:

Stay away from people who are not followers of the Lord! Can someone who is good get along with someone who is evil? Are light and darkness the same? Is Christ a friend of Satan? Can people who follow the Lord have anything in common with those who don't? Do idols belong in the temple of God? [1 Corinthians 6:14-16, CEV]

You see, forgiving men and women who may not have changed very much is a whole lot easier the minute we set some appropriate boundaries. And that’s three.

Of course, I certainly hope that Debbie doesn’t have to apply any of these techniques after her birthday on Wednesday. If so, I might be alone on Thursday. But you know, as it relates to forgiveness, I think they’re very appropriate. I mean, since we know that forgiveness is really showing to others what God has shown to us, and since we know that, when we’re actively forgiving spouses and friends, members of our community and congregation, we’re coming closer to God and we’re freeing ourselves from bitterness and we’re demonstrating love in way that folks can see and feel, maybe it’s worth the time and the effort to focus on God and to decide to take action and to set some appropriate boundaries. You see, that just might be the best way to claim the eighth key to healthy relationships, namely forgiveness.

Sunday's Message - Keys to Healthy Relationships: Affection

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV] 

During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:

• January 5 - Love
• January 12 - Honesty
• January 19 - Humility
• January 26 - Communication
• February 2 - Patience
• February 9 - Acceptance
• February 16 - Affection
• February 23 - Forgiveness
• March 2 - Unity

On Sunday, February 23, we looked at affection. Below is the podcast and text of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.

Now y’all may not know this, but today is the last Sunday in the month of February. When next we gather, it’ll be March, for crying out loud. And before you know it, the snow will be gone, the flowers will be blooming and the grass will need to be mowed. Good times, almost. 

And today, we’re also looking at the seventh message in these sermons dealing with nine keys to healthy relationships, a series that was supposed to finish up on the Sunday right before the beginning of Lent, but what did the poet Robert Burns say about “the best laid plans of mice and men”? But be-that-as-it-may, today we’re on the seventh message, having already looked at love and honesty, humility and communication, patience and acceptance. And this morning, we’re going to focus on affection as another one of those relationship keys.

And I’ll tell you, that’s the reason we listened to the Carter Family sing The Church in the Wildwood just a minute ago. Now, y’all may not know this, but that’s one of my personal favorites. As a matter of fact, I had it played when I was installed here almost four years ago. But you know, it’s not because the church in which I was raised was anywhere close to the wildwood. Man, I’m a city boy, and Ocean View Presbyterian Church was right there on Little Creek Road, about a mile from the Naval Air Station. No, I think the reason why it really touches me is that it reminds me of a feeling that was present in that small suburban congregation of my childhood. You see, at Ocean View Presbyterian, I think we genuinely liked one another. Now, don’t get me wrong, there were times when members disagreed, you know, like when Rev. Libby and the session allowed folks who were part of the Poor People’s March on Washington to spend the night in the church building back in 1968. I’ll tell you, that caused quite a ruckus. But you know something; I don’t think we lost a single member, because we were a family that, in spite of our differences, really loved one another and wanted to stay together, not unlike that little brown church in the dell.

But of course, that’s not the case anymore, at least not within our broader society. I mean, so many things have changed in these sixty years. Where, at one time we could be open and listen even though only the intervention of Jesus himself would cause us to change our minds, now we often seem to enter conversations with all these suspicions and assumptions, if, that is, we enter this kind of conversations at all. And while, back in the day, two people could have an honest and a deep disagreement but still be friends, now we’re often primed to distrust and even dislike those who disagree with us. And while in the past, we would stay united, because there was this positive atmosphere that sort of drew us together, I guess you could call it “...the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love,” now that’s a lot harder isn’t it, you know, as our society pushes us into rival tribes. Now, I think this is something that we see happening in our society now-a-days. And without suggesting any reason or cause, I think this attitude, this animosity has affected all our relationships. Therefore, we really shouldn’t be surprised that denominations, even congregations are dividing and that families and marriages are facing stress that’s pulling them apart. For example, I read an article last week about all these children who’ve severed all contact with their parents over politics. It’s crazy! In a sense, the mutual affection that permeated that idyllic church in the wildwood is becoming a memory. And frankly, I think that’s a shame.

And I’ll tell you, that’s why we’re looking at affection this morning, because personally, whether you’re talking about families or friendships, congregations or communities, I believe that really is a key to a healthy relationship. And as we’ve done in the past, we’ll do this by answering three questions. First, what is affection according to the Bible? And second, why is affection important in relationships? And then third, how can we be more affectionate in our relationships, and I’m talking about all our relationships?

Of course, before we can do anything else, we really need to establish what the Bible has to say about affection. And you know, it’s interesting, I think it all comes down to the two Greek words found in the Bible that are both translated “love”: αγάπη and φιλέω. Now we’ve already talked about αγάπη/love in the first message. It’s an action based on a decision that really doesn’t involve feelings. In other words, it’s treating someone with kindness and respect, you know, with love. And this is something we can do whether we like that person or not. I mean, when Jesus said “love your enemies,” he used the word αγάπη. But φιλέω is different. You see, that’s an emotion. In other words, it’s the feeling of love and warmth and compassion. Simply put, it’s what we might call affection, something that sort of just happens beyond our control. As a matter of fact, it’s like what we saw in Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love, right after the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Well, maybe that’s not a great example. Let’s just think about φιλέω as being affectionate.

And even though, in the New Testament, αγάπη is crucial (in fact, every time we’re commanded to love, it’s αγάπη), that doesn’t mean that φιλέω is unimportant, something that’s frankly hard to see in our English Bibles because, as I just said, both words are translated “love.” For example, just think about this conversation between Jesus and Peter right at the end of John and I’m reading this from the New Revised Standard Version because I think it’s a more accurate translation of the Greek:

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” A second time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.” [John 21:15-17, NRSVUE]

Now that’s the conversation. And even though, in English, it sounds a little confusing and repetitive; in Greek, it actually makes a lot more sense. You see, although in his three responses, Peter used the word φιλέω, in his first two questions, Jesus used the word αγάπη. In other words, for Jesus, in order to feed lambs or tend sheep, Peter was going to need to demonstrate a love that’s intentional, not just emotional. But what’s interesting is that in Jesus’s last question, he used the word φιλέω, something Peter, at this point in his life, was able to do. He could feel love and warmth and compassion. He could be affectionate, but he couldn’t yet intentionally love those he didn’t like. And yet, and personally I find this really exciting, even though that was all he could do, man, he could still feed the sheep. In other words, he still had a role to play in the Kingdom of God. You see, according to the Bible, that’s what affection is all about.

And why is it important? Why is it important to feel affection and warmth and compassion toward others? Well, just like we saw in Jesus’s last question to Peter, our emotions will nearly always lead us to act.

Of course, there’s the problem. We all know that emotions are unpredictable, and they’re volatile, and they’re fickle, sort of like the emcee says in the musical, Cabaret: Can one ever choose where the heart leads us? And because of that, on one hand, our emotions, our affections can certainly be misplaced. And when they are, they can kind of lead us astray, moving us to do some things that we probably shouldn’t do and convincing us that what may be wrong is not just right, but righteous, sort of like Jesus told his disciples in the Sermon on the Mount:

When you pray, don’t be like those show-offs who love to stand up and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners. They do this just to look good. I can assure you that they already have their reward.

When you pray, go into a room alone and close the door. Pray to your Father in private. He knows what is done in private and will reward you. [Matthew 6:5-6, CEV]

Of course, that was just one example. Jesus said the same thing about people who love to sit at the head table and who love to walk around in long robes and even those who love their fathers and mother more than they love him. You see, on one hand, misguided affection can get us into real trouble. I mean, that’s why they call them crimes of passion.

But on the other hand, when focused, man, this same emotion can lead to some genuine positive results. And I’ll tell you, that’s why Paul challenged mothers to feel love for their children and husbands to love their wives. As a matter of fact, as it applies to the whole church, this was what the writer of the Letter to the Hebrews said, and I’m reading this from the New International Version:

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. [Hebrews 13:1-3, NIV]

You see, even though our affection can be a little misguided and misdirected at times, when the emotions are focused, in other words, when we feel affection for those things that, for God, are most important, those feelings can not only draw us closer together, they can move us away from what’s secure and comfortable so that we can do what God has called us to do. And for me, that’s why affection is important in all our relationships.

Which leaves us with how, how can we actually do it? I mean, how can we feel affection even for those folks we don’t particularly like but whom we’ve called to love? Now, that’s the question. And I’ll tell you, I think the answer is really tough. In fact, it may be the most challenging relationship key we’ve covered thus far. I mean, if you’re talking about love and honesty, humility and communication, patience and acceptance, it’s easy for me to stand up here and say, “Just do it.” In other words, just decide to be loving and honest. Just decide to be humble and to communicate better. Just decide to be more patient and accepting. You see, those are all decisions, actions, matters of the will. But feeling affection, feeling warmth, feeling compassion and concern, well, that’s radically different, because it’s a matter of the heart, isn’t it? I mean, although we have control over what we do, we don’t have much over what we feel. And I’ll tell you, that makes how we can become more affectionate tricky.

But I’ll tell you it’s not impossible. And you know, the reason I say that is grounded in something Jesus taught when he was talking to his disciples about their possessions and priorities. According to the Evangelist Matthew he said:

Don’t store up treasures on earth! Moths and rust can destroy them, and thieves can break in and steal them. Instead, store up your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy them, and thieves cannot break in and steal them. Your heart will always be where your treasure is. [Matthew 6:19-21, CEV]

You see, Jesus said, “Your heart will always be where your treasure is.” [Matthew 6:19-21, CEV] And I’ll tell you, I think that’s really important, but not just in how we regard our possessions. You see, according to Jesus, our emotions will be drawn by what we do, you know, by where we place our treasure. And so, if we want to value what’s up there in heaven, we need to get up and to start doing those things that will build it up right here on earth. Now that’s what Jesus said; therefore, if we want to feel more excited about something like missions or evangelism or outreach, we need to get up and to start being more engaged in missions and evangelism and outreach. And if we want to feel more affection, if we want to feel more compassion, if we want to feel more φιλέω/love, we may need to start showing αγάπη/love to others. Why? Because our heart will always be where our treasure is.

And as to αγάπη/love, man, we already know exactly how to do that, don’t we? As the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians:

Love is patient and kind,

never jealous, boastful,

proud, or 

     rude.

Love isn’t selfish

    or quick tempered.

It doesn’t keep a record

    of wrongs that others do.

Love rejoices in the truth,

    but not in evil.

Love is always supportive,

loyal, hopeful,

    and trusting.

Love never fails! [1 Corinthians 13:4-8, CEV]

You see, whether we’re talking about our families or friendships, our communities or congregations, if we want to feel, we really need to act. And in my opinion, that’s how we can become more affectionate.

Of course, I doubt we’ll ever be able to create in our relationships the atmosphere found in that church in the wildwood. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure that either the little brown church in the dell or Ocean View Presbyterian right by the naval base was as peaceful and harmonious and loving as I remember. Still, that doesn’t mean that we have to buy into the suspicion and the hatred and the tribalism we see now-a-day, at least not when it comes to our relationships. You see, I believe that the kind of φιλέω/love, those feelings of warmth and compassion are possible. And even though feelings can be fickle and misguided, they can also move us to do amazing things in an atmosphere of great unity. And I believe this is possible when we accept that our emotions are drawn by our actions, you know, what we feel is shaped by what we decide to do; therefore, we’re going to feel more love when we make the conscious decision to be more loving. And for me, that’s how we can claim this seventh key to healthy relationships, namely affection. 

Sunday's Message - Keys to Healthy Relationships: Acceptance

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV] 

During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:

• January 5 - Love
• January 12 - Honesty
• January 19 - Humility
• January 26 - Communication
• February 2 - Patience
• February 9 - Acceptance
• February 16 - Affection
• February 23 - Forgiveness
• March 2 - Unity

On Sunday, February 9, we looked at acceptance. Below is the podcast and text of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.

Now, as I think most of y’all know, over the last month and a half, we’ve been talking about the Keys to Healthy Relationships. And for y’all who’ve either been here in person or streamed the services or maybe listened to them later on Facebook or YouTube or even Spotify, you probably know that we’ve already looked at love and honesty, humility and communication, and last week, we focused on patience. Now that’s what we’re covered to date. And since this whole series has been about relationships, I think I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that the grand-daddy of relationship events is almost here, and I’m not talking about the Super Bowl. Valentine’s Day is on Friday. And gentlemen, since I’m a romantic kind of guy who would never say that my wife is not nearly as big as those women on TV...again, I have the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for you. Instead of getting her the same old card or the same old candy or the same old flowers, I’m going to make available to you, free of charge, something that will result in a huge deposit in your personal account at the Love Bank. If you let me know this morning, I will make available to you a bound copy of the first six messages in this sermon series. I know that’s what I’m giving Debbie, but don’t tell her; it’s going to be a surprise.

Now, having said that, let me assure you, I am not an idiot; I recognize that, if you got your wife this informative gift, there’s a better than even chance that she won’t accept it, which just happens to be our sixth key to healthy relationships: acceptance. Of course, I also recognize that in most relationship situations, real acceptance is pretty challenging even in the best of times. Let me explain. I think we all have a tendency to fix our minds on what we want in other people, you know, the stuff they should say and do that will make us feel comfortable, opinions that are expected and interests that sort of mesh with our own. That’s what we want. But since we’re dealing with different people, who grew up in different places, at different times, with different values, generally that just doesn’t happen naturally. And so, instead of just accepting them for who they are and maybe even learning from those differences, often we try to pretend that the differences aren’t there at all. Or we work to reshape those people into our own little Minnie Mes. Or maybe we simply walk away, because let’s get real, accepting what we don’t like is really hard, isn’t it? Of course, I don’t think it should come as any surprise that, regardless of whether we’re denying or renovating or abandoning, our relationships with those people have got to suffer, especially if they’re doing the same thing to us.

And that’s why we’re going to spend a little time this morning talking about acceptance. And as we’ve done before, we’re going to answer three questions. First, what does the Bible say about acceptance? And then, second, why is acceptance important in our relationships? And then, third, how might we become more accepting in our own personal lives? Now that’s the plan.

But of course, before we can talk about how we can do it, I think it’s important to be on the same page about what it is. And so, what does the Bible say about acceptance? Now that’s the question, and I’ll tell you, I think we can divide the answer into two parts.

For example, as I read scripture, I think it’s pretty clear that acceptance is something God has shown to us. In other words, for reasons that we may never fully understand, God decided to love us before he laid the foundation of the universe. And without our help or permission, he entered our time and space as Jesus Christ whose life gives us an example of how we might live and whose death set us free from aspects of our past that can be like an anchor and whose resurrection reminds us that the day is coming when our lives will truly be eternal. You see, with all our faults and flaws, with all our weaknesses and warts, with all our questions and doubt, God has accepted us as his people. And I’ll tell you, I think that was exactly what Peter was getting at when he wrote this in his first letter:

But you are God’s chosen and special people. You are a group of royal priests and a holy nation. God has brought you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Now you must tell all the wonderful things he has done. The Scriptures say,

“Once you were nobody.

    Now you are God’s people.

At one time no one

    had mercy on you.

Now God has treated you

    with kindness.” [1 Peter 2:9-10, CEV]

You see, whether we like it or not, God has accepted us. And that’s why we’ve been led here this morning.

And you know, because of that, because of his acceptance of us, I believe acceptance is what God wants us to show others, and I’m talking about with all their faults and with all their weaknesses and with all their questions. In other words, God doesn’t want us to deny the differences. And he doesn’t want us to renovate their personalities. And he sure doesn’t want us to abandon them to their fate. Although that would be really easy and comfortable, I don’t believe that’s what God wants us to do. Instead, I think he wants us to accept them with the same love and with the same patience and the same compassion that he has shown to us. Now, I understand that, sometimes, their behavior makes that virtually impossible to do. And I certainly don’t believe that acceptance demands that we enable destructive behavior. As a matter of fact, genuine acceptance can be really hard and uncomfortable and almost unnatural, not unlike what Paul challenged the Romans to do when he wrote this: 

Honor God by accepting each other, as Christ has accepted you. I tell you that Christ came as a servant of the Jews to show that God has kept the promises he made to their famous ancestors. Christ also came, so that the Gentiles would praise God for being kind to them. It is just as the Scriptures say,

“I will tell the nations

    about you,

and I will sing praises

    to your name.”

The Scriptures also say to the Gentiles, “Come and celebrate with God’s people.” [Romans 15:7-10, CEV]

I’ll tell you, if Paul expected the Jews and the Gentiles, the oil and vinegar of the ancient world, if he said that they could accept one another in the ancient city of Rome, then I think we can all do the same thing as we gather here in the not so ancient city of Sligo, Pennsylvania. You see, in my opinion, according to the Bible, that’s what acceptance is all about.

And as to why it’s important in our relationships, well, I think you can also break that down into two parts. For example, I believe it broadens our appreciation of others. Let me explain. Whether you’re talking about spouses or children, family or friends, communities or congregations, the more accepting we become of our differences, the more we’re going to appreciate those unique talents and abilities that God has given to those around us, and I’m talking about talents that I might not have myself and abilities that I might desperately need. In a sense, it’s a little like what the Joker said to Batman in the movie, The Dark Knight, and I’m thinking about the scene in the police station when the Joker looks at the Caped Crusader and says, “You complete me.” You see, if we refuse to accept all those gifts that God has given the other person or persons in our lives, I mean, if we deny that those differences are real or if we try to make everyone like us or, worst of all, if we send them packing because what makes them special also makes us uncomfortable, I’m telling you, if we choose to that kind of thing, we only have ourselves to blame when our marriages and our families and our communities become incomplete and unstable. But you know, when we’re able to accept those differences, when we’re able to accept those unique qualities, in other words, when we’re able to accept those around us as God has accepted us, then I believe that what Paul wrote to the Corinthians will make a lot of sense.

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but they all come from the same Spirit. There are different ways to serve the same Lord, and we can each do different things. Yet the same God works in all of us and helps us in everything we do. [1 Corinthians 12:4-6, CEV]

You see, on one hand, our ability to accept others broadens our appreciation of them.

But, on the other hand, I also think it also deepens our understanding of ourselves. Put another way, our willingness to look beyond what’s comfortable and to accept differences, man, I believe that enables us to claim what God has given uniquely to us. And that just makes sense. I mean, as soon as we’re no longer expecting everyone to be like us, then maybe, all of sudden, we just might feel the freedom to be something different from what we’ve always been. In other words, maybe we’ll be able to explore ideas we’ve been afraid to consider. And maybe we’ll be able to claim talents we’ve been afraid to develop. And maybe we’ll be able to become the kind of men and women we’ve been afraid to be. I mean, just like it enabled us to understand that we’re all incomplete unless those in our relationships are doing what God has equipped them to do, acceptance just might help us see beyond those comfortable boxes we’ve created for ourselves, and I’m talking about the same kind of realization about which James wrote in his letter:

Don’t be fooled, my dear friends. Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father who created all the lights in the heavens. He is always the same and never makes dark shadows by changing. He wanted us to be his own special people, and so he sent the true message to give us new birth. [James 1:16-17, CEV]

You see, acceptance can broaden our appreciation of others and deepen our understanding of ourselves, and for me, that’s why it’s important in our relationships.

And finally, how can we do it? How might we become more accepting of others and even of ourselves? In other words, within all our relationships, how can we become everything we were created to be? How can we become more accepting? Now that’s the question. And I’ll tell you, personally, I think it’s all about making three decisions that I believe can change everything. 

For example, first, we can decide to become more humble, and I’m talking about being more humble in our expectations of others and more humble in our assumptions about ourselves. Of course, since we just focused on humility a couple of weeks ago, we’ve already talked about how humility comes when we intentionally accept our own limitations and celebrate the talents of others and grow in our own understanding. But I’ll tell you, I think humility still comes down to a decision, a decision to stop talking and to start listening, a decision to accept that we may not always be as smart or as talented or as right as we think we are, a decision not to think less of ourselves, but rather to think about ourselves less. As a matter of fact, it’s claiming the kind of attitude Jesus challenged the people to have when he taught them this:

Can one blind person lead another blind person? Won’t they both fall into a ditch? Are students better than their teacher? But when they are fully trained, they will be like their teacher.

You can see the speck in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the log in your own eye. How can you say, “My friend, let me take the speck out of your eye,” when you don’t see the log in your own eye? You show-offs! First, get the log out of your own eye; then you can see how to take the speck out of your friend’s eye. [Luke 6:39b-42, CEV]

If we want to be more accepting, I think we might need to be a little more humble. Now that’s one.

And second, I think we can also decide to be more open. You see, it’s really, and I mean really easy to focus on ourselves, you know, on what we think and on what we like and on what we want. And so long as our spouse or our kids or the members of our communities and congregations think and like and want the same as us, well, everything is frozen peaches and cream, right? But if they don’t, well, that’s when we often crank up the denial and we try to do a few renovations and if that doesn’t work, we subtly encourage them to find some other person or place where they’ll be more comfortable. Of course, the great irony is that we’re often confused when they finally go. Lord help us all. But you know, that doesn’t have to happen, not if we decide to be a little more open to the possibilities and to the opportunities, even if they make us uncomfortable. And I’ll tell you, when we do, I think we’ll be able to accomplish in all our relationships the same sort of thing Paul challenged the Roman Christians to do in their church:

Welcome all the Lord’s followers, even those whose faith is weak. Don’t criticize them for having beliefs that are different from yours. Some think it is all right to eat anything, while those whose faith is weak will eat only vegetables. But you should not criticize others for eating or for not eating. After all, God welcomes everyone. What right do you have to criticize someone else’s servants? Only their Lord can decide if they are doing right, and the Lord will make sure that they do right. [Romans 14:1-4, CEV]

You see, if we want to be more accepting, I think we can intentionally be more open. And that’s two.

And third, we can also decide to become more forgiving. I’ll tell you, over the years, I’ve worked with a lot of couples. Of course, when they come to me, generally they have some issue that’s pulling them apart, maybe some hurt that’s unresolved or some betrayal that’s taken on a life of its own. Now sometimes these issues are huge, you know, like marital infidelity or financial misappropriation, spending money that you don’t have, while at other times these issues seem almost insignificant. But you know, it’s amazing, from my experience, it’s really not the size or importance of the issue that determines whether the marriage continues. It’s whether or not forgiveness is possible. I mean, when it is, then they can begin the process of reconciliation and healing. But if it’s not, there’s just not much left on which to build. I’ll tell you, I’m not sure acceptance is possible without the willingness to forgive. You know, it’s like Paul wrote to Colossians:

God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. [Colossians 3:12-14, CEV]

You know, along with being more humble and open, if we’re serious about being more accepting, I think we really need to be more forgiving. And that’s three.

And you know, that just might be something to keep in mind as we enter this week before Valentine’s Day. I mean, even though cards and candy and flowers are great, and I’m telling you, that bound copy of six sermons, well, maybe that’s not such a good idea, but be that as it may, even though all the stuff that fills two aisles at Walmart right now is wonderful, maybe we can do something else to strengthen all our relationships this next week. I mean, since God has accepted us, maybe we can be a little more accepting of those around us. You see, because we know that acceptance broadens our appreciation of others and deepens our understanding of ourselves, maybe it would be worth the time and effort to become a little more humble and a little more open and a little more forgiving in the next five days. And I’ll tell you, I think that just makes a lot of sense, at least it does to me, because, when you get right down to it, I believe acceptance is another key to healthy relationships.