Sunday's Message - Keys to Healthy Relationships: Unity

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV] 

During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:

• January 5 - Love
• January 12 - Honesty
• January 19 - Humility
• January 26 - Communication
• February 2 - Patience
• February 9 - Acceptance
• February 16 - Affection
• March 2 - Forgiveness
• March 9 - Unity

On Sunday, March 9, we looked at unity. Below is the podcast and text of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.

Well, this morning two things are happening. I mean, for one, we’re finishing up this series dealing with nine keys to healthy relationships. And during this time we’ve talked about love and honesty, humility and communication, patience and acceptance, affection and forgiveness. And today we’ll tie this up with unity. Now that’s one thing that’s happening.

But you know, this is also the first Sunday in a church season called Lent, a period of forty days leading up to Easter. And why is it 40, and not 30 or 50? Well, it’s because the image of 40 days is a pretty big deal in the Bible. For example, in the Old Testament, Moses went to mountains for 40 days to pray and to fast before he received the Ten Commandments. And the prophet Elijah did the same sort of thing right before the Lord spoke to him. And in the New Testament, right after his baptism, the Spirit drove Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted and tested by the Devil for 40 days. You see, whether you’re talking about Moses or Elijah or Jesus, it took 40 days to prepare them for something really big. And in that sense, we can use the 40 days of Lent to get ourselves ready for Easter. And I’ll tell you, no matter how you cut it, the celebration of the resurrection is one of those events that unites Christians all over the world.

And I’ll tell you something else, I think that kind of unity is pretty important, especially now-a-days, because I don’t see much in our world drawing us together. As a matter of fact, there seems to be a whole lot more pulling us apart. And without pointing fingers, because I only have ten and I don’t think ten would be enough, personally, I don’t see a lot of intentional unity happening anywhere in our modern world. And you know, personally, I think that’s a real shame, because instead of facing the very real problems we all have to face together, we seem to have decided to break into little teams or tribes made up only of people who think and feel like us. And I’ll tell you, I believe that’s a recipe for disaster. I mean, most of us are parents, right? Imagine trying to raise a good, solid, well-adjusted child when mom and dad aren’t on the same page about stuff like values or discipline or maybe most important of all, which football team to follow. I’ll tell you, you could very well end up with some Cleveland fans, or worse, a few Ravens at the family reunion. And nobody wants that, right?

And so, as we tie this series up, we’ll talk about unity this morning. And as we’ve done eight times before, we’ll approach it by answering three questions. First, what is unity according to the Bible? And second, why is unity important in relationships? And third, how can we strengthen our unity? Now that’s the plan.

And it starts with our first question: According to the Bible, what is unity? I mean, what would be a good, solid, Bible-based definition that might help us better understand this concept? I mean, that’s the question, right?

But you know, before we come up with a definition of what it is, I think it might be helpful to think about what it’s not. You see, according to scripture, unity isn’t uniformity. In other words, to be united doesn’t mean we should all be the same, you know, coming from the same background and holding the same opinions and of course, having the same skills. That’s not unity, certainly not the kind about which the Apostle Paul wrote when he said this to the Corinthians:

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but they all come from the same Spirit. There are different ways to serve the same Lord, and we can each do different things. Yet the same God works in all of us and helps us in everything we do.

The Spirit has given each of us a special way of serving others. [1 Corinthians 12:4-7, CEV]

You see, at best, a community or a congregation or a family of clones is going to be really limited in what it’s going to be able to do. But at worst, well, this kind of uniformity can lead to groups doing some horrendous things because, let’s face it, when everybody thinks the same way and wants the same things, there won’t be anyone to say “no.” And that can be a problem.

But fortunately, as Christians, we’re not called to walk in lockstep; you see, that’s not unity. Instead, according to the Bible, unity is about oneness, not uniformity. It’s about diverse people living in harmony, not identical folks fighting to exclude men and women they don’t think belong. It’s about a kind of active love that draws people in, not a kind of static sameness that pushes folks out. I mean according to the Bible, unity is based on and grounded in something far deeper and more profound than backgrounds and opinions and skills. You see, as Christian brother and sisters, we’ve been united by God himself, and I’m talking about the Father who loved us before he laid the foundation of the universe and the Son who calls us to get up and follow and the Holy Spirit who, right here and now, inspires us to become everything were created to be. I’ll tell you, it’s like what Paul wrote right at the end of his second letter to the Corinthians:

Goodbye, my friends. Do better and pay attention to what I have said. Try to get along and live peacefully with each other.

Now I pray that God, who gives love and peace, will be with you. Give each other a warm greeting. All God's people send their greetings.

I pray that the Lord Jesus Christ will bless you and be kind to you! May God bless you with his love, and may the Holy Spirit join all your hearts together. [2 Corinthians 13:11-13, CEV]

You see, the fact that we have one another, man, that’s a gift from God, something that we can claim as we live together. And for me, that’s what Biblical unity is all about.

And as to why it’s important; I mean, why is unity important in our relationships, well, I think there are three solid reasons.

I mean, first, I believe unity reflects God’s nature. And I’ll tell you, I think this is something that may set Christianity apart from some other religions, you know, like Judaism and Islam. You see, while a Jew or a Moslem might view the one God in a very uniform way, for Christians, well, it’s different. You see, for us, within God’s oneness, we trust in this unity between the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit: three distinct persons united in essence and substance and nature as one God. As a matter of fact, in a very real way, God is unity, and as such he offers us a model that we can claim and follow. And you know, I think that’s exactly what Jesus was getting at when, right before his arrest and crucifixion, he prayed this to his Father:

Holy Father, I am no longer in the world. I am coming to you, but my followers are still in the world. So keep them safe by the power of the name you have given me. Then they will be one with each other, just as you and I are one. While I was with them, I kept them safe by the power you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost, except the one who had to be lost. This happened so that what the Scriptures say would come true.

I am on my way to you. But I say these things while I am still in the world, so my followers will have the same complete joy that I do. [John 17:11-13, CEV]

You see, for me, unity should be important for us because it reflects God’s nature.

And second, I also believe it offers us strength, and I’m talking about more strength that we could ever find on our own. It’s like what the writer of Ecclesiastes said,

You are better having a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble. If you sleep alone, you won't have anyone to keep you warm on a cold night. Someone might be able to beat up one of you, but not both of you. As the saying goes, “A rope made from three strands of cord is hard to break.” [Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, CEV]

Simply put, there really is strength in numbers. And when we’re united, they can better support and better encourage and better challenge one another. It’s like Paul wrote to the Philippians:

Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God's Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. Now make me completely happy! Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. Care about them as much as you care about yourselves and think the same way that Christ Jesus thought: [Philippians 2:1-5, CEV]

You see, unity can offer us all kinds of strength, and for me, that’s another reason it’s important.

And third, unity empowers our witness, and I’m talking about our witness to “the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit.” [1 Corinthians 13:13, NRSVUE] You see, in my opinion, a united church, one in which everybody is using their distinct gifts with a common focus, man, that kind of body can be a powerful testimony to the truth of the Gospel. And I think that’s especially true when we’re focused on love and honesty, on humility and communication, on patience and acceptance, on affection and forgiveness. You see, by claiming this unity we have from the Holy Spirit, we’ll be able to what Peter wrote about in his first letter:

Can anyone really harm you for being eager to do good deeds? Even if you have to suffer for doing good things, God will bless you. So stop being afraid and don't worry about what people might do. Honor Christ and let him be the Lord of your life.

Always be ready to give an answer when someone asks you about your hope. Give a kind and respectful answer and keep your conscience clear. This way you will make people ashamed for saying bad things about your good conduct as a follower of Christ. [1 Peter 3:13-16, CEV]

You see, not only does it reflect God’s nature and offer us strength, unity can empower our witness. And for me, that’s why it’s important.

Which leaves us with how, how can we strengthen our unity? In other words, within our communities and congregations, within our families and friendships, how might we demonstrate a kind of oneness and harmony and love that can reflect God’s nature and can offer us strength and can empower our witness? How can we become more united? Now that’s a good question. And with that in mind, let me briefly share with you a four-part answer that I think we can find in something Paul wrote to Ephesians. You see, this is what he said:

As a prisoner of the Lord, I beg you to live in a way that is worthy of the people God has chosen to be his own. Always be humble and gentle. Patiently put up with each other and love each other. Try your best to let God's Spirit keep your hearts united. Do this by living at peace. All of you are part of the same body. There is only one Spirit of God, just as you were given one hope when you were chosen to be God's people. [Ephesians 4:1-4, CEV]

Now that’s what Paul wrote. And in this brief passage, I think there are four steps we can follow if we really want to be more united.

For example, we can choose to be humble. Now, I believe that’s the first step. And remember, that was the first thing Paul told the Ephesians, “always to be humble.” And as we’ve talked about before, humility really involves putting the needs of others above your own. I mean, as I’ve said a couple of times, it’s not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less. You see, humility demands that we recognize that we’re just not better than others. We’re all human. And we’re all sinners. For the sake of unity, according to Paul, we can be humble. That’s the first step. 

And second, we can also be gentle. And I say that’s step number two because I’m not sure we can be gentle without being humble first. You see, when we’re willing to recognize our humanity, our limitations, our sin, that’s when we become able to appreciate just how gentle God has been to us and to be willing to pass some of that gentleness on to others, and that includes folks with whom we may have all kinds of disagreements. To strengthen our unity with others, according to Paul, we can be gentle. That’s the second step.

And third, after choosing to be humble and then gentle, I also think we’ve got to be patient. Now, I recognize that we probably don’t like hearing it, but the bottom line is simply this: believers are called to put up with one another and to do it with patience. Of course, that’s really not what the world believes and promotes now-a-days. As a matter of fact, we’re almost encouraged simply to dismiss folks who are annoying or too opinionated. But for Christians who appreciate just how gentle God has treated us and who have decided to pass some of that gentleness on to others, well, we’re expected to do what James wrote about when he told us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” [James 1:19b, CEV] For Paul, the third step to unity is patience.

And finally, step number four, of course, we need to be loving. Now in the past, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about love, you know, how the kind of love that both Jesus and Paul talked about wasn’t really a feeling; it was an action. And when underpinned by humility and gentleness and patience, love is all about treating others with kindness and respect. And remember, when Jesus said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” [Mark 12:31b, CEV] he didn’t end the command with a “when” or an “if.” Instead, he ended it with a period; which leaves out the possibility of exceptions. In other words, we’re called to love others whether we like them or not. And for Paul, I think that’s crucial, because without this kind of love, unity is just plain impossible. And that’s why I believe it’s Paul’s fourth step.

And now we’re done with this sermon series. Of course, hearing all this stuff ain’t worth a bucket of spit, unless we choose to do something about it. And so, as we move through this season of Lent and prepare ourselves to celebrate Easter, let’s be intentional in our love and honesty, in our humility and communication, in our patience and acceptance, and in our affection and forgiveness. And let’s do this in an atmosphere of unity, because when you get right down to it, that’s also one of the keys to healthy relationships.