Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

The Sligo Presbyterian Church Celebration Service - Sunday, October 12, 2025

During the sermon series I Believe: Exploring the Apostle's Creed, the congregation of Sligo Presbyterian Church is using The Apostles Creed to discuss some basic Christian beliefs. We’ll also take those beliefs and apply them to our daily living. This includes talking about why they're important and how they might shape our thoughts, feelings and faith. Below are the topics we'll cover:

On Sunday, October 12, we continued this series by looking at the meaning and significance of saying, "I BELIEVE in...the forgiveness of sinsBelow is an audio recording of the service, the video presentation of the sermon, and the service bulletin. You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page











Sunday's Message - I BELIEVE in...the forgiveness of sins,

During the sermon series I Believe: Exploring the Apostle's Creed, the congregation of Sligo Presbyterian Church is using The Apostles Creed to discuss some basic Christian beliefs. We’ll also take those beliefs and apply them to our daily living. This includes talking about why they're important and how they might shape our thoughts, feelings and faith. Below are the topics we'll cover:

On Sunday, October 12, we continued this series by looking at the meaning and significance of saying, "I BELIEVE in...the forgiveness of sins,." Below is the text and a video presentation of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.


Back in 1980, I was a Teaching Assistant at Old Dominion University in the School of Business. And I had the opportunity to work under a remarkable professor, Dr. Greenberg. He taught Marketing 353, An Introduction to Business Communication. And I remember him telling me that, when it comes to communication, there’s always three parts: the one who sends the message, the message itself and the one to whom the message is sent. Of course, that’s kind of a “DAH” statement. But as I remember he also said that the reception of the message was actually far more important than either the message itself or the intention of the one who sent it. In other words, if Debbie and I are having a conversation, what I want to communicate and what I actually say is really less important than what she hears, something I’ve learned from painful experience. Let’s just say, when she asks how a new outfit looks and I say “It’s fine,” well, what I intend is miles away from what she hears. 

And I’ll tell you, that’s sort of what we’re going to be talking about this morning as we move forward in our exploration of The Apostle’s Creed. Of course, to this point, we’ve covered the following, and as we’ve done the last few weeks, would you say it with me?

I believe in God, the Father almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried; he descended into hell; on the third day he rose again from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty; from there he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, 

Now, that’s what we’ve already discussed.

And this morning, we’re going to move on to the next affirmation: I BELIEVE in...the forgiveness of sins. And like I said, I think this is really a lot like the kind of communication we were talking about a little while ago. You see, to me, forgiveness is similar to the message, something that’s sent by God and received by us. And even though that seems pretty simple and straightforward, the process can sort of break down if our reception is a little off. In other words, we might completely miss this wonderful message of love if we don’t receive it in the way God wants us to respond.

And I’ll tell you, that’s going to be our focus this morning. Using some passages from the New Testament, we’re going to consider two things: how and why God has forgiven us and then how and why we can receive God’s forgiveness. And hopefully, by the end, we’ll have a better understanding of God’s intentions as we respond to this gift to us. Now that’s the plan.

And like I’ve already said, we’re going to start by focusing on how and why God has forgiven us. I mean, what was his motivation in doing this and what were his intended results? In other words, how and why did God forgive us, his children? 

Of course, if you’re talking about how he did it, in my opinion, it really comes down to this: Because God loves us, he forgave us through Jesus Christ. You see, when you get right down to it, God was motivated by love; it’s just that simple. And I’m talking about a love that’s not based on how  good or how spiritual or how loveable we are. Instead, it’s a love that’s grounded in the nature of God himself. And you know, I think that’s what Jesus was getting at when he was talking to Nicodemus. You see, right after telling him about the importance of being born of water and of spirit and how the Son of Man was going to be lifted up just like Moses lifted up the bronze snake on the pole in the Wilderness in order to “heal” his people, Jesus offered the reason God had done this in the past and was about to do it again in the very near future when he said this:

God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die. God did not send his Son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them! No one who has faith in God’s Son will be condemned. But everyone who doesn’t have faith in him has already been condemned for not having faith in God’s only Son. [John 3:16-18, CEV]

Now that’s what Jesus said. In other words, the reason God was going to do all that, I mean, the reason he was offering eternal life and salvation and forgiveness didn’t have anything to do with condemnation or retribution or punishment. Instead his motivation was love, love for this world that he’d made. And I’ll tell you, that’s exactly what he did, wasn’t it? Just listen to what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Colossians:

You were dead, because you were sinful and were not God’s people. But God let Christ make you alive, when he forgave all our sins.

God wiped out the charges that were against us for disobeying the Law of Moses. He took them away and nailed them to the cross. [Colossians 2:13-14, CEV]

Now just think about this. Without our permission or help, Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross and died for us. And I’ll tell you, that was grounded in God’s love, because on that same cross our sins were nailed and when he died, so did we. You see, because God loves us, he forgave us through Jesus Christ. 

And as a result, as a result of that love and as a result of that death, we’ve been both freed and restored. For example, we’ve been set free, set free from guilt and condemnation. You see, God’s forgiveness has removed the debt and penalty of sin; man, it’s gone forever. And to make it even better, in the sight of God, we’re no longer held condemned for our past actions. Now that’s what I believe. And I’ll tell you, I think the Apostle Paul believed it too and that’s why he wrote this to the Romans:

If you belong to Christ Jesus, you won’t be punished. The Holy Spirit will give you life that comes from Christ Jesus and will set you free from sin and death. The Law of Moses cannot do this, because our selfish desires make the Law weak. But God set you free when he sent his own Son to be like us sinners and to be a sacrifice for our sin. God used Christ’s body to condemn sin. [Romans 8:1-3, CEV]

I’m telling you, we’ve been freed. 

But that’s not all. You see, because we’ve been forgiven, we’ve also been restored, restored in our relationship with God. I mean, because we’ve been set free, sin will no longer get in the way. In other words, from God’s perspective, it can no longer separate us from the one who loved us before he laid the foundation of the universe. And for that reason, the possibility of a real and growing fellowship with God has been restored. And because of that, life can now have purpose and direction. And we can now live with peace and hope. As a matter of fact, because of God, we can experience what I think you could call almost a recreation right now, something that I think Paul described to the Corinthians when he wrote, 

Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new. God has done it all! He sent Christ to make peace between himself and us, and he has given us the work of making peace between himself and others. [2 Corinthians 5:17-18, CEV]

You see, as a result of God’s love for us and as a result of Christ’s death on the cross, we’ve not only been freed, man, we’ve been restored. And I’m telling you, in my opinion, that’s exactly how and why God has forgiven us. 

But remember, just like I said about communication, for as important as God’s intention is, how and why we receive it is just as important. I mean, I don’t think our response is going to be worth a hill of beans, if we disregard what it says in scripture and assume that God isn’t motivated by love and that the work wasn’t done by Christ alone; therefore, we’ve been freed from nothing and that restoration isn’t possible without us earning it ourselves. You see, that’s what we can hear. And if we do, we’re going to totally misunderstand God’s intention with forgiveness and his word to us. But let me tell you right here and now, based on what we already know, that doesn’t have to be the case. 

I mean, because we believe that God has forgiven us, we can trust that it’s been given while also recognizing that it was needed. Let me explain. Right here and now, we can decide to trust that God really has forgiven us. You see, we can decide to trust that God loves us and Christ died for us. And we can decide to trust that through that love and death, we’ve been freed and restored. In other words, we can believe that Paul knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote this to Colossians:

God rescued us from the dark power of Satan and brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son, who forgives our sins and sets us free. [Colossians 1:13-14, CEV]

You see, we can recognize that God did exactly what he promised to do. But along with that, we can also recognize that forgiveness, man, this was something that we needed. I mean, without the love and the cross, we’d be just up a creek without a paddle, wouldn’t we? We’d be just a group of people bound to the past and wandering around, alone in the dark. In short, if God hadn’t forgiven us, man we’d be just a bunch of sinners: bound, gagged and powerless. As a matter of fact, we might actually be worse than just a mess of sinners. I mean, as John reminds us in his first letter, 

If we say we have not sinned, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth isn’t in our hearts. But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.

If we say we have not sinned, we make God a liar, and his message isn’t in our hearts. [1 John 1:8-10, CEV]

Now, left on our own, that’s what we are. But of course, as we’ve already heard, that’s not the case, because, as it relates to forgiveness, we can trust that it’s been given and recognize that it was needed. 

And I’ll tell you, if we do, if we hear the message that God is sharing with us and if we accept the forgiveness that he offers, and if we experience the freedom and restoration forgiveness brings, my goodness gracious, I think it’ll change how we feel and what we do. I mean, give me a break, trusting that we’ve been forgiven my God, man that’s got to bring a little more peace and joy into our lives, and I’m talking about the kind of peace that comes from knowing that our past doesn’t have to hold us back or determine who we are and the kind of joy that we can carry with us as we move into the future and that will keep us going even when the journey becomes challenging and the way becomes a little bit bumpy. As a matter of fact, we might even come to the point where these words from Paul not only make sense but reflect what we feel. 

By faith we have been made acceptable to God. And now, thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ, we have peace with God. Christ has also introduced us to God’s gift of undeserved grace on which we now take our stand. So we are happy, as we look forward to sharing in the glory of God. But that’s not all! We gladly suffer, because we know that suffering helps us to endure. And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love. [Romans 5:1-5, CEV]

I’ll tell you, once we’re freed from the guilt we may have carried around for years and restored to a right relationship with God, how can it not change how we feel, you know, on the inside.

And on the outside, how can it not also change what we choose to do? I mean, since God has forgiven us, how can we not be more patient and forgiving with others? My gosh, if we really appreciate what we’ve received as a result of God’s love and Christ’s death and if we truly accept that, as a result, we’ve been both freed and restored, how can we not extend that same grace and mercy and compassion to others, and I include even those who’ve not been very good to us? In other words, how can we carry around bitterness and resentments when we trust that God has given us exactly what we need? As a matter of fact, how can we not take to heart what Paul told the Ephesians when he wrote this:

Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. [Ephesians 4:31-32, CEV]

You see, when we trust that God has forgiven us and recognize that this is exactly what we need, I believe it’s going to change how we feel and what we do. And for me, that’s exactly how and why we can receive God’s forgiveness.

Now, over the years, I’ve used a lot of the stuff I learned working with Dr. Greenberg. For example, when I’m counseling a couple, especially one that’s kind of struggling with communication issues, I’ll tell them about how the intentions behind the message sent and even the message itself are secondary to how the message is actually received. And then I help them learn to communicate with a little more clarity and to look for those signs that may show whether or not the message has been received as intended. Of course, we do that only if, after asking them, they both say “fine.”

But I’ll tell you, after reading what the Bible has to say, I don’t think we have to be so intentional in order to understand forgiveness. You see, I believe it’s pretty clear that God has forgiven us. I mean, because he loves us, God forgave us through Jesus Christ, offering us freedom and restoration. I also think it’s equally clear that we can receive God’s forgiveness. I mean, we can trust that it was given and recognize that it was needed, and we can allow that awareness to change how we feel and what we do. Now, for me, that’s the truth behind the words, I BELIEVE in...the forgiveness of sins.

Friday, October 10, 2025

The Bulletin for the SPC Worship Service - Sunday, October 12, 2025

During the sermon series I Believe: Exploring the Apostle's Creed, the congregation of Sligo Presbyterian Church is using The Apostles Creed to discuss some basic Christian beliefs. We’ll also take those beliefs and apply them to our daily living. This includes talking about why they're important and how they might shape our thoughts, feelings and faith. Below are the topics we'll cover:

On Sunday, we’ll continue this series by looking at the meaning and significance of saying, " I BELIEVE in...the forgiveness of sins" Below is the bulletin for the service. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.








Tuesday, March 4, 2025

The Sligo Presbyterian Church Celebration Service - Sunday, March 2, 2025

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV]

During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:
On Sunday, March 2, we looked at forgiveness. We also shared communion. Below is a  video of the service, the podcast of the sermon and the service bulletin. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.












Sunday's Message - Keys to Healthy Relationships: Forgiveness

Depending on your experience, you may wonder if healthy relationships are even possible. There’s a lot of brokenness in the world; therefore, it’s easy to question whether good, solid, joy-filled relationships are even possible. But here’s the good news; Jesus Christ came to heal our relationships both with God and with one another. As the Apostle Paul wrote, 

Christ has made peace between Jews and Gentiles, and he has united us by breaking down the wall of hatred that separated us. Christ gave his own body to destroy the Law of Moses with all its rules and commands. He even brought Jews and Gentiles together as though we were only one person, when he united us in peace. [Ephesians 2:14-15, CEV] 
During this series, we’re exploring some of the Biblical keys to a healthy relationship. Over nine weeks, we'll discuss the following topics:
On Sunday, March 2, we looked at affection. Below is the podcast and text of the sermon. You can stream the service by going to the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. (EDT).  You can hear a podcast of the service at the Sligo Presbyterian Church YouTube Channel or the Sligo Presbyterian Spotify Page.


You know, when you think about it, there’s a lot of new going on around here this morning. I mean, not only are we entering a new month, thanks to a power surge that fried some of our equipment, we’ve got a new computer in the office, and we’ll be getting a new printer, which is covered by our insurance, PTL. And as you can see, we have new microphones which means that I don’t have to detach my lapel mic and violate your personal space when you either have an announcement to make or a prayer request to share. And so, there’s a lot of newness happening at SPC.

But of course, not everything is new. In fact, this morning we’re nearing the end of a sermon series we started back in mid-January entitled Keys to Healthy Relationships. And during seven services, we’ve looked at love and honesty, humility and communication, patience and acceptance. And last week, we focused on affection, you know, the emotion of love, as another one of those keys. And this morning, we’ll look at key number eight, forgiveness. And so, if you’re talking about our general theme, well, that’s certainly not new.

And I’ll tell you, neither is something that will be crucially important around the Rudiger house in the next few days, and right now I’m talking about Debbie’s birthday, something we’re celebrating on Wednesday. I think this is the twenty-seventh time I’ve attended that rodeo. And trust me, “forgiveness” is definitely not something I want to associate with March 5th and beyond. I mean, doing something that needs to be forgiven on your wife’s birthday, well, that’s the gift that keeps on giving, but not in a good way. Let’s just say it can put a lot of stress on a relationship.

But of course, if you’re talking about problems associated with forgiving, well, I don’t think that applies to just marriages. You see, personally, I think some of the relationship problems we see in the world now-a-days come from our inability or reluctance to forgive others. Let’s just say, that “live and let live” attitude doesn’t seem all that popular in our world today. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t seem to matter whether you’re talking about families or friendships, communities or congregations, folks seem to be a whole less like Elsa in Frozen who could just “Let it go” and a whole more determined to hold on to hurts and disappointments and even look for opportunities to even the score. I’ll tell you, often it seems we spend more time and effort looking for how we might get revenge and retaliation and retribution than looking for reasons to offer forgiveness and mercy and kindness. And so I guess we really shouldn’t be surprised that many of our relationships have sort of gotten caught in the crossfire.

And I’ll tell you, for that reason, we’ll be looking at forgiveness this morning. And as we’ve done before, we’ll approach it by answering three questions. First, according to the Bible, what is forgiveness? And then, second, why is forgiveness important for relationships? And then, third, how can we actually do it? You know, how can we become more forgiving? 

Now, that’s the plan, and we’re starting with the question: What is forgiveness according to the Bible? In other words, what does scripture have to say about offering mercy and showing kindness to someone who may have done us wrong? And I’ll tell you, even though there are all kinds of verses throughout the Bible about forgiveness, there’s a parable found in the Gospel of Matthew that I think sums it up pretty well. Now this was what happened:
Peter came up to the Lord and asked, “How many times should I forgive someone who does something wrong to me? Is seven times enough?”

Jesus answered:

Not just 7 times, but 77 times! This story will show you what the kingdom of heaven is like:

One day a king decided to call in his officials and ask them to give an account of what they owed him. As he was doing this, one official was brought in who owed him 50,000,000 silver coins. But he didn't have any money to pay what he owed. The king ordered him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all he owned, in order to pay the debt.

The official got down on his knees and began begging, “Have pity on me, and I will pay you every cent I owe!” The king felt sorry for him and let him go free. He even told the official that he did not have to pay back the money.

But as this official was leaving, he happened to meet another official, who owed him 100 silver coins. So he grabbed the man by the throat. He started choking him and said, “Pay me what you owe!”

The man got down on his knees and began begging, “Have pity on me, and I will pay you back.” But the first official refused to have pity. Instead, he went and had the other official put in jail until he could pay what he owed.

When some other officials found out what had happened, they felt sorry for the man who had been put in jail. Then they told the king what had happened. The king called the first official back in and said, “You're an evil man! When you begged for mercy, I said you did not have to pay back a cent. Don't you think you should show pity to someone else, as I did to you?” The king was so angry that he ordered the official to be tortured until he could pay back everything he owed. That is how my Father in heaven will treat you, if you don't forgive each of my followers with all your heart. [Matthew 18:21-35, CEV]
Now that’s what Jesus said. And I think I’m safe in saying that, based on this parable, forgiveness is simply showing to others what God has shown to us. Of course, as the story indicates, it doesn’t just happen. Instead, the kind of forgiveness that Jesus had in mind comes from a heart-felt recognition and appreciation of what we’ve received. But it’s also grounded in a very real and intentional decision to be kind and to be merciful and to show pity to others. You see, as I read Scripture, that seems to be what forgiveness is all about. Now, that’s the what.

And as to the why, you know, why is forgiveness important for relationships, well, I’ll tell you, I think it comes down to three things that forgiveness does for us and for those around us. 

For example, first, I believe forgiveness brings us closer to God. In other words, the act of showing mercy and kindness and pity to someone who may have hurt or disappointed or frustrated us in some way, well, I think it strengthens our relationship with the one who’s already forgiven us for so very much. And I’ll tell you something else it does with respect to God; I believe that recognition and appreciation sort of motivates us to pass it forward to others. You know, it’s like Jesus told his disciples during the Sermon on the Mount:
If you forgive others for the wrongs they do to you, your Father in heaven will forgive you. But if you don't forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. [Matthew 6:14-15, CEV]
You see, I think forgiveness brings us closer to God. And that’s one thing it does.

But that’s not all, because I believe it also frees us from bitterness. Have you ever heard that old saying, “Revenge is a dish best served cold”? Well, let me ask you, how many miles would you need to carry around that pain and that resentment and that frustration until the initial white-hot desire for vengeance becomes cold enough to serve? And while you’re carrying around that resentment and frustration, how do you think it’s affecting your attitude and your outlook to say nothing of your stomach and your blood pressure? You see, our willingness to forgive as we’ve been forgiven actually frees us from this burden, something that I believe the Apostle Paul understood when he wrote this to the Ephesians:
Stop being bitter and angry and mad at others. Don't yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead, be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ. [Ephesians 4:31-32, CEV]
I’ll tell you, forgiveness really enables us to pull an Elsa and to let the bitterness go. And that’s the second thing it does for us and those around us.

And third, I believe it also becomes a way for us to demonstrate love, and right now, I’m really not talking about the emotion but the action. In other words, it becomes another one of those tangible signs of our decision to be loving, even to folks whom we may not like very much. In fact, deciding to forgive is part and parcel of deciding to love. And remember, of all the things the Bible tells us to do, according to Jesus Christ, it can be summed up in a single commandment, to love one another as we’ve been loved. And you know, I think that’s probably what the Apostle Paul had in mind when he wrote this to the Colossians:
God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. Love is more important than anything else. It is what ties everything completely together. [Colossians 3:12-14, CEV]
And so, along with bringing us closer to God and freeing us from the bitterness we often end up carrying around, forgiveness can be a tangible demonstration of love. And I’ll tell you, for me, that’s why it’s important.

Which leaves us with how, how can we become more forgiving? How can we push back and push aside the desire for revenge and retaliation and retribution? And how can we offer more mercy and kindness and pity to those around us, particularly those who’ve hurt us in some way? How can we do it? Now, that’s a really good question. And even though I think there’s a whole bunch of really good answers floating around out there, let me briefly share with you three things we might want to consider if we’re serious about being more forgiving. 

I mean, for one, we can focus more of our attention on God and in particular, on what he’s done and does and will continue to do for us, his  children. You see, as it relates to forgiveness, I think it’s a whole lot easier for me to forgive my spouse or my friends, a member of our congregation or community after I’ve spent a little time just thinking about the forgiveness God has already shown to me. t least, I believe that’s what John thought, because just listen to what he wrote in this first letter:
If we say we share in life with God and keep on living in the dark, we are lying and are not living by the truth. But if we live in the light, as God does, we share in life with each other. And the blood of his Son Jesus washes all our sins away. If we say we have not sinned, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth isn't in our hearts. But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away. [1 John 1:6-9, CEV]
You see, to become more forgiving, we may need to focus more of our attention on God. That’s one.

And two, we can also decide to take action, you know, to just do it. I mean, much like the kind of love commanded by Jesus Christ, forgiveness is an act of the will, not of the heart. Therefore, if we want to be more merciful, if we want to be more kind, if we want to show more empathy and pity, we may need to lace up our Nikes and just do it. Of course, this may not be easy. I mean, we’re talking about forgiving when seeking revenge and retribution and retaliation may seem more appropriate and certainly be more socially acceptable. I mean, we live in an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth kind of world, for crying out loud, even though we know, deep down, that’s just going to leave the world blind and toothless. And you know, that’s why deciding to be more forgiving just may involve following the Apostle Paul’s advice to the Romans:
Dear friends, don't try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says,

“I am the one to take revenge
    and pay them back.”

The Scriptures also say,

“If your enemies are hungry,
    give them something to eat.
And if they are thirsty,
give them something
    to drink.
This will be the same
as piling burning coals
    on their heads.”

Don't let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good. [Romans 12:19-21, CEV]
And so, to amp up our forgiveness, we must decide to take action. And that’s two.

And finally, three, I think forgiveness is a whole lot easier when we set some appropriate boundaries. Let me explain what I mean. Sometimes I think we confuse forgiving with forgetting. And even though I believe the first is a matter of the will, the other isn’t. In other words, we can decide to forgive; but I’m not sure we can decide to forget; therefore, the past hurts and the past disappointments and the past frustrations may still be hanging around despite our best efforts to forget about them. And for that reason, I think it may be important to set some boundaries to prevent our memories from interfering with what Christ has called us to do. For example, even though I may be expected to forgive someone for betraying my trust, I’m not called to put myself in the position to have my trust betrayed again. It’s like Anthony Weldon wrote, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me,” That’s what I mean by boundaries. Now to me that just makes sense, but I also think it’s grounded in scripture. For example, I believe this idea of drawing a line between what’s appropriate and helpful and what’s not is reflected in some advice Paul offered the Corinthians when he wrote this:

Stay away from people who are not followers of the Lord! Can someone who is good get along with someone who is evil? Are light and darkness the same? Is Christ a friend of Satan? Can people who follow the Lord have anything in common with those who don't? Do idols belong in the temple of God? [1 Corinthians 6:14-16, CEV]

You see, forgiving men and women who may not have changed very much is a whole lot easier the minute we set some appropriate boundaries. And that’s three.

Of course, I certainly hope that Debbie doesn’t have to apply any of these techniques after her birthday on Wednesday. If so, I might be alone on Thursday. But you know, as it relates to forgiveness, I think they’re very appropriate. I mean, since we know that forgiveness is really showing to others what God has shown to us, and since we know that, when we’re actively forgiving spouses and friends, members of our community and congregation, we’re coming closer to God and we’re freeing ourselves from bitterness and we’re demonstrating love in way that folks can see and feel, maybe it’s worth the time and the effort to focus on God and to decide to take action and to set some appropriate boundaries. You see, that just might be the best way to claim the eighth key to healthy relationships, namely forgiveness.

What We Believe: The Faith of the Presbyterian Church (What does the Holy Spirit do?)

At Sligo Presbyterian Church, we're discussing what Presbyterians believe and how Presbyterian congregations govern themselves. During t...